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Emma Dec 2020
My depression is like
Laying in a bed of thorns.
Every move will punish me,
Scratches matching every fear and compulsion.
I wonder what it would be like
To not have this burden hanging,
Like an executioners axe just
Waiting to be swung.
I wonder what it would be like
To not be watching over my shoulder,
With anxiety clawing at my every movement.
I wonder what it would be like
To be in a room full of people
And to know that I am loved.
To not need them to express it,
Because I had nothing to make me doubt.
I wonder what it would be like
To feel anything at all,
Except this ache,
This numbness that seems to cushion
My fall.
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, it’s been a while since I’ve had anything to write I guess
Emma Sep 2019
Silently, but sweetly,
you walked through the streets of my heart,
streets that were cold and abandoned.
It was somewhere no one wanted to make their home.
People came to visit for a while,
but nothing was ever permanent.
That is until you came.
You took those barren streets
and planted flowers in the graves.
You cooked in all the kitchens,
boiling foods that never should have been boiled
but all the while still making it feel like home.
You reminded me that I was whole,
and that I did not need someone to make my streets
their home.
I did not expect you,
and I certainly did not prepare for you.
However, you reminded me that there could be a piece of joy
in the unavoidable sadness.
You showed me that I could be loved,
cold streets and all.
You showed me that I am loved.
I am loved, and I can love in return.

Thank you.
Emma Aug 2019
My resting ***** face is my superpower,
That and my ability to survive.
But you can’t have one without the other,
My survival and my superpower walk hand in hand through the valley that is
“Sweetheart” men,
Kissy face men,
Will shout at you in the street men
And will say you were asking for it men.
You thought I wanted it?
Look at this ***** face,
And tell me I wanted it, *****.
I have learnt that the world will throw knives and snarls in my direction,
And a simple smile will not end this affection,
And so a resting ***** face ends that sort of *******.
Because suddenly, when you look like a woman who won’t take ****,
Men won’t give you ****.
When life gives you lemons,
Make a **** orange.
You won’t be given anything.
One day, I’m gonna tell my baby girl
“Remember, a resting ***** face is your superpower,
And you can do anything you put your mind to.”
I have survived everything that has come my way so far,
Me and my resting ***** face will rule this world.
Emma Jun 2019
I have known many men.
I have known kind men.
I have known sweet men.
I have known men
that scream 'not all men'.
I have known men
that are those men.
I cannot claim to have known all men,
but those that I know vary greatly.
I know good men.
I know gentle men.
But I have also known violent men,
Angry men,
men that make me want to rip my hair out
and men that did it to me.
So, while I know there is good,
I know all too well that there is bad.
I cannot change all men,
but I am sure that I will find a person
that does not need to change.
Until then,
I shall not be hurt by more men.
Emma Jun 2019
Do not be gentle with my mind.
I know that to move on
I must deal with my past.
My childhood.
The disorders.
The ****.
The trauma.
I know that to truly love
I have to move on.
Maybe I am not ready to love yet.
Emma Jun 2019
They say at the moment before your death,
You will have a piece of life flash before your eyes.
I wonder if it will catch my baby’s breath,
Or my very first butterflies.
I hope I will see all that is good,
Not my first love, but my last.
I hope I do not see the horrors of my childhood,
Or if I do, I hope it goes fast.
When my time comes, I hope it is filled
With all the I love
And all that I have fulfilled,
Warming my heart like a woollen glove.
Emma May 2019
what have they done to you,
dear girl with the rainbow hair?

have they saddled you with their insatiable thirst for perfection,
my sweet girl with the rainbow hair?

have they demonized the ground you dare stand,
fearless girl with the rainbow hair?

have the non-believers tore you piece from piece,
my messed up girl with the rainbow hair?

the world will always tear you down,
tender girl with the rainbow hair.

you were never supposed to use your voice,
my deafening girl with the rainbow hair.

do not let them defeat you,
sweet heartbroken girl with the rainbow hair.

whilst machismo is still alive,
the girls will never be safe.
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