We sit by the pool,
staring at the bloodied sun,
and watch the ash fall.

Higher than ever,
my heart rolls down a river.
Carried by the smoke.

They smelled of coffee and tobacco
          But not in a poetic way
          The way that makes me want to
          get away from you
I can smell the addiction in your breath

the jacket you left here still smells like cigarettes,
yet i'm wearing it because it makes me feel like i'm not alone

i remember the taste of metal in my mouth,
the warmth and the pain of
turning my fiery words
into mountains of ash
years of biting my tongue,
wanting to scream,
yet the smoke chokes my lungs

Sleepless nights when I was young,
fond times - I reminisce;
though many I cannot recall,
there is one I truly miss:

Midnight mass at the cathedral,
the echo of sung hymns;
growing restless in the pew,
as the candles all burned dim.

Still of the night - heavy silence,
white flake now falling  swift;
plumes of smoke from chimneys,
and in windows stood trees lit.

Waiting in suspense - so eager,
in my bed under the sheets;
hearing  the howl of a winter's gale
blustering against the eaves.

Old Saint Nick would soon arrive,
with his sleigh and sack of gifts;
bringing joy to all boys and girls,
and crossing names off His list.

But now I have aged and withered,
and so Christmas has lost its glow;
on its Eve I still remain awake,
and watch the falling snow.

Before today, I’d never bite the cigarette
You dangled in front of my lips;
But the smoke is the scent of ‘regret’
All over you and our relationship.
The smoke is dense, greying with each puff;
It is poisonous and carcinogenic.
I’ll accept your tease today
Because perhaps our memories with each other will fade away
As the smoke does once it is inhaled and released,
Lifted with the winds.