I have 1,440 minutes.
How many memories can my cerebrum calculate?
There's this ache in my head.
I want it to go away.
Throwing my brain off a cliff
would not make things okay.
Perhaps I'll be like the rest
braindead and my pupils won't respond to your light.
If you would stop lingering here
wouldn't that mean I'll be alright?
The lights fade my eyes close.
A new 24 hour period is proposed
What was yesterday
no remembrance of what whoever was
There's something I'm supposed to be holding on too.
Time is slowing
My days are meshing into each other
I'm literally so full of myself.
There's a familiarity in this feeling.
Not only that someone who touched it with clarity.
The lights fade, my eyes close.
What was yesterday
I have completely forgotten about what was
and who is now.
Nothing to consume.
The entire day feels like 30 minutes and I'm just eating at
the second's left overs.
The lights fade
This time when my eyes close there's a face I pushed out
by force
and it reminds me of all I have abandoned.
I cannot open my eyes I'm forced to rest.
I NEED TO WAKE UP.
In hopes of not forgetting tomorrow.
I HAVE TO WAKE UP.
I woke up.
Lost memory of my last name.
Who I am supposed to be,
But there's a feeling that is harboured in me.
A feeling that used to rip me to sheds
Is now warm and fragile.
What sparked this feeling?
I fall asleep earlier than I'm supposed too,
and forget all that ever supposed to be.
Have you forced yourself to forget who I am and what we were too?

Attempting to toss
into coordinates of comfort,
I fail to find a prime position
to support my heavy heart,
and to contain my racing mind.

A blanket–
always too stiff–
clings uncomfortably
to my spent body,
which I reluctantly trust
to wake up once more again.

A pillow–
always too flat–
smothers the thickening air
as my lungs try to
swallow reality once more.

I plea to the pause
fragmenting awareness
to rise and resume,
as the void encroaches
and consciousness escapes me.

I wish I could sleep next to you right now
I miss how your body feels next to mine
I miss how you're holding me,
Putting your arms around,
And how you fall asleep faster than I.

Sleep always feels owed; one’s life
cannot be fully owned –
As we look for this complete rest, do you
rest your weariness on those you trust;

For even as sleep is the cousin of death;
would you still deny yourself true rest?

And do you deny the comfort of advice
from a true friend –
Or do you sleep on their words, under
the covers of your pride?

Often I'll wake in my slumber,
To a melody seeping through the window.
It's sung by the stars,
They beckon me from my soft bed,
To the chill of night.
I listen, for if I were not to dance to their music,
Their art would be at a waste.

As we grow,
We mature.
Our ideas change,
So does our nature.
I don't want to instigate,
As much as I want to love now.
I used to want to rule an empire,
But now I'll settle for common things.
Settle down with my queen,
I'll last forever, if she lets me.

As we grow,
We lose touch.
Of each little thing we know,
Everything we loved so much.
I no longer feel aggression,
The same way I feel peace.
I may be tired,
But I'm just tuckered out,
I've learned to sleep.

Why I never heard music so tasteful,
With a woman so graceful.
Falling to sleep in her arms,
As the choirs gently serenade us.
Lip to lip as the lights dim,
Hand on her thigh, just how she likes it.
I'll never be able to love you the same,
Not after feeling you like this.