Do not despise being single.
Revel in it.
You must know who you are
BEFORE
you can ever truly know someone else.

It was about a year ago,
where we said those words
of loneliness,
of blissfulness.

No matter whether you are
single,
or attached,
I want you to know that you can
not feel lonely this Valentine's Day.
You can be "taken" by:
1. your other half
2. your loved ones
3. your friends
4. and of course, why not yourself ?

Make yourself feel blessed this Valentine's Day.
Surround yourself with people who you love and appreciate.

Valentines day.
It's just around the corner.
A day for lovers,
to announce to the world.
While all alone
I sit.
On my bedroom for.
Watching reruns of Supernatural,
Sherlock, and Dr. Who.
But will I be sad that nobody is there for me?
Why would I be?
Will I be upset,
that I don't get chocolate or teddy bears?
Why would I be.
I dont need a guy to give me candy,
or stuffed animals.
Its all fake anyway.
So, no.
I wont be upset,
I'll be as happy as ever, if not happier.
Because I can have guys as friends,
without feeling guily,
I can eat what I want, when I want,
and not feel like I'm disappointing anyone

Biology gets me in trouble.
spring rolls around and I’m…
restless.

Fighting singleness
like a blanket too small
that doesn’t cover my feet.

Pull the blanket away from your face, stupid.
You’re fine.
You’re not content because you are seeing the 
problem and not the purpose.

My love is a gas station pit stop you pause at to grab snacks and then carry on your way. It is a soft place to land when you need to rest for a while and to gather strength, then keep going when you feel strong again. It never looks like ‘I could be with this girl forever ‘ but rather looks like a passing moment of months. I’m comfortable, I’m easy, I don’t demand dates and lavish luxuries, I am more content just watching movies at home and making love by the dim light of the moon. I do not pester you with questions about your whereabouts and I don’t ever talk about feelings as I don’t care to invest any of my own. I love from a distance and that is how I like it; perhaps that is why I am the girl for the wanderer. When you tell me about the new girl you met and how you feel like it’s going to be a real thing, I am genuinely happy for your finding of love; I can’t help but wonder why I am not worthy of that affection, not because I want it from you but I want to feel the rush that makes me whole body vibrate and my spirit dance. Calculated cold and logical with a twinge of deep and feeling I am too wise to love with attachment. Some days I wish I could let myself go just to feel to sting of heartbreak but I know I am not strong to recover from another shattered heart; for my heart is already broken in ways you are too self absorbed to even notice nor care. I love the broken and the messy and perhaps that is why they take refuge with me, as I am broken and messy too, I am just better at hiding it. Or maybe I am just meant to love, to love as many people as I can and that’s what I’m going to ******* do.

I can handle the impossible- the scary, the dark, and the loneliness that makes you feel consumed in every room.
I can handle the feeling of never being good enough, the never understanding everything, and the anxiety.

I cannot handle the unknown- the do you still love me? the do you still think about me? the questions that never have answers no matter how much you want them.

I've been swimming up the current and swallowing all the water that threatens to drown me.
I have been running uphill screaming at the top of my lungs, gasping for that breath that will calm my heart down a little bit.
I have been trying so ******* hard and you are still hiding in the corners of my brain that shouldn't have corners.

I can handle the impossible and the anxiety... but I need to know if you love me still.

Hundred times in life,

I swallowed my pride,

Just forsake rid this strife,

and I won’t take any bite.



They change,

We not the same,

Pointing finger & making excuses,

While me – hold the trigger & abandon abuses,



I awakened as a lone wolf,

rely on self acceptance & master the movement,

too far from things to get involve,

less talk & do more self improvement.

snowflakes are prettier when I’m alone

when i walk with my face up towards the sky
smiling goofily to myself

when i twirl around pretending i’m in a movie that no one is watching
because no one is if no one is there

and i like it that way

I’m tired of these lonesome nights
spent **** in fist and staring at the ceiling.
Exist in thought and again through
ever-changing screens;
it’s been years since I lived through action.

Desiccated white heels in the dust of Savannakhet.
Finding love in the half-dark Bangkok hotel room.
The bar-maid in Malaga, hash from Morocco,
all those nights spent lusting for blood amongst the wine.

Now getting high means finding an anchor
to hold me down when gravity does not feel enough.
When all forces of G-d and Nature combined
Cannot rattle hard enough to force me to speak
in any half-filled room.

Sometimes I’m certain the noise in my chest
can be heard aloud
and everyone knows I am nothing.
I wonder why in all my dreams
Beauty follows in my footsteps.

I wonder why in all my dreams
I’m running away from something.