I have a great friend who wrote the poem,
I thought it was pretty good.
Who am I?
Who is this person I see in the mirror?
I don't know.
Much has happened since I met this Person.
Good, bad, and everything in between.
Now, I don't know who this is.
All the hiding, all the pretending.
All for naught as I have lost my true self.
Who am I?
I've changed alot in the past few years.
Not just in looks.
Sure, my hair got longer,
My legs got thinner, and taller.
But also in my mind.
I'm not the social butterfly I once was.
I'm more of a loner.
I laugh alot, but not truly.
Same with smiling.
I am close to a total of 5 people at the most.
Is that bad?
No, It can't be.
When we first met,
The very first thing I noticed were your eyes.
They were blue-
and not rhe color blue like the sky,
They were their own color.
The color that soon became my favorite.
Then I noticed your voice.
The way you said my name,
The way you talked to your friends.
Anything that you said sounded like a song.
Then, the way you treated people.
You were always so kind,
even when the person didn't deserve it.
I realized that
whenever I'm with you,
I can't think straight,
I can't talk right.
You made my stomach fill with butterflies,
my mind fill with your face, your voice, just you in general.
Whenever you were around,
I was happy,
despite what had happened with anything.
I'll punch a dude for you,
even though you're the guy.
I don't care,
who made steriotypes anyway,
When I was young, about 4,
I watched my father get arrested for the very first time.
It was because of drugs.
I remember clearly that the officer asked me all kinds of questions.
"Did they give you any candy?" is the one I remember the most vividy.
I said no, because that was the truth.
Back then, I didn't know she was referring to drugs..... How could I?
I was 4 for Christ's sake!
After that, I watched him get arrested time and time again.
When he wasn't being arrested,he was telling me all about how cops are the bad guys, the 'villians' in an Avengers movie. He's the reason I am so terrified of cops.
He once said that he wishes he had a baby boy. From that day, I thought he didn't want me because I was a girl. I changed, from playing in my moms make-up to playing with his football. I played on the Jr. Pro football team. I remember getting the MVP trophy. Gosh, he was so proud. He's the reason I am this way. The reason guys are either drooling because I know so much about sports, and I'm good at them, or they're scared, because I'm tougher and stronger than any girl at this school. Because I know how to tackle, and be tackled without being hurt.
To this day, I believe he got addicted to drugs because I wasn't good enough. I wasn't a boy. I will never be a boy.
I miss him so much though. I miss when Pa, Him, and I would go play football in the yard.
The last time I saw him get arrested- I was 13. It was almost 2 years ago. It was on my 13th birthday. The cops came in and got him. His ex was screaming, scaring me even more. I was crying hysterically. My nana was trying to shield me from what was happening. She wasn't doing a very good job. I couldn't help but think, "At least this didn't happen at my birthday party"
It did happen at my birthday party once. When I was 8. I didn't see it though. I was on the swings,on the other side of the playground. Thank God for that.
I miss him, but the only thing that I would change is his addiction. I wouldn't chnge my past. When I was little, I would pray to God to wake me up from this awful nightmare, because it had o be a nightmare, right? It wasn't.
I'm turning 15 in a couple months. I've come to realise that he is the reason I am this way. He's made me who I am. Sure, He's also the reason I don't do some things, because I feel like I'm not good enough, or that I can't. He's the reason I used to cut. But I don't know, because I don't break promises, or the reason that I have trust issues. He's the reason I apolagize for everything. But he's also the reason I have a great group of guy friends to play football with, Ones who won't treat me differently because I'm a girl. He's the reason I have an amazing bf who can handle my sporadic mental breakdown, who will stand by me, and up for me when needed. Who is willing to go through hell and back for me
I miss him, and hopefully, one day, I'll get to tell him all about my friends, and my accomplishments. Hopefully, one day, he'll be better, and he'll get to meet my bf.
You led her on,
Made her believe that you loved her,
Made her believe you cared,
Made her trust you and open that door she had closed so tight.
She let you in,
And you let her down.
She fell for you hard,
You said you would catch her,
So why did she hit the ground?
She believed in you,
When no one else had,
And this is how you repay her?
This is so sad...
You led her here,
With words of love
And acts of romance,
Just to leave her there,
Her heart torn in two,
To fend for herself,
And find someone new.
The truth be told
I love you.
The truth revealed
The problem is
We are best friends
So this, could never work.
Your heart belongs to another.
While mine remains unclaimed.
I wish you could see
What I conceal from you
Cause some part of me wonders...
Would you feel it too?
This pull we have to each other
That started something so great.
A powerful bond,
Tight and strong.
So is it ok,
If I dare say,
Is it possible we could be so much more?
Roses are red, Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, perhaps so are you.
The roses are wiltes, the vilets now dead.
The sugars bowl's empty, your wrists stained red.
The sun isn't shining, the sky's not clear.
There is no silver lining, because you're no longer here.
Rain keeps pourings, with no end in sight.
You're lying there frozen, too far from the light.
Your beauty was unreal, your smile was the sun.
But time can't be turned, your actions undone.
The words that you wrote, that only I read.
"I love you so much. Please don't cry when I'm dead"
A bond we formed, a love that ran deep.
A pain that we shared, a friend I could keep.
I wanted to hold you, wipe the tears from your eyes.
Been there the moment you said your goodbyes.
I want to forget, but most times I don't.
I want to let go, but I know that I won't.
Tears on my face, memories in my head.
The roses have wilted, The violets are dead