I want to write.
I want to create.
But I rarely feel like I can.
I want my words to mean something.
I want them to be heard to the volume I expressed them at.
I want them to explode minds.
I want them to carry emotions.
I want what I create to be beautiful in a personal interpretational way.
I want them to educate.
I want less to be more.
I want them to make people feel.
...
Isn't selfish of I to hold back myself because I may not get what I want?
...
Isn't selfish of I to hold back one's voice because I may not get what I want?
...
Isn't unfair to my soul to tell it no because I may not get what I want?
...
Isn't cruel of I to bury my desires because I may not get what I want?
...
Is it not foolish of I to be thinking: I want, I want, I want...
when God has given me: You can, you can, you can.

You don’t know my mind,
My thoughts, my reasoning
Behind my actions.
What to you may seem selfish
Or simply eccentric,
Is what I need to do
To function, to continue
Breathing without hyperventilating,
Completely breaking down.
So please be patient.
You don’t know what I’m going through.

i can't stand how you laugh
snigger at those less fortunate than you
you selfish cruel man
i wish you and your ***** ****** kind
would just change
no one should be mocked
for things they can't control

I don't like myself
because
I like myself
and I forget to like others
And I don't like that

My eyes glow high red
can't help but only write
my mind full of regrets
like i haven't lived for a day
sorrow inside my heart like
a mother who lost his son
why me?
is this the forever you've promised?
all you ever wanted was only gains
gain like you were taxing,
like a 3pm anophele on my neck
holding me with a pretty smile
like you loved me.
all your i can'ts and i won'ts
was full of lies
and you left me with
innumerable sorrows
because i loved you
i didn't know that you was
playing me like a tennis ball
with a deadly fictional
selfishness,
while
i thaught that we was like
covalent bonds,
maybe it was meant to be,
and for now
i'm refraining back to who
i used to be before you demolished
me like what cruck did to green
even if it's cumbersome
remember!
my God always win.