i was full
of life, of love, of hope
i filled you up
and you filled me
but by the end, i was drained
nothing but a black hole remained
you had ruined me,
and ****** the out the love i had given to you
and taken it for your own.

You’re a thief and a liar!
You ****** the life out of me.
All I saw was you.

You kept taking all I had to give,
And raged when I asked for you in return.
You sold me a dream,
And looked at me in disgust when I asked for my money’s worth.

Whilst you paraded in all the glory I showered you in.
You’re selfish.
Yet I kept giving.

The softness of your voice and beauty in your words put me in a trance.  
And blindly I was lured in by your empty promises.

minsan,
mapapaisip ka na lang
kung tama bang bumitaw ka
sa isang taong di sayo susuko.

minsan,
mapapaisip ka na lang
kung tama bang umalis ka
sa relasyong alam **** ikakasira mo.

minsan,
mapapaisip ka na lang
kung tama bang nawala ka
sa mundong ibinigay niya sayo.

andaming minsan
na pumapasok sa utak mo
pero,

madalas
mapapaisip ka na lang
na tama yung ginawa mo
kasi kailangan **** unahin
sarili mo.

Crawling through my brain till it has made channels connecting to tunnels like little circuits replacing my nerves, the little worm I call Loneliness wriggles onward.

A constant motion of forward goes that worm, bringing with it a never ending feeling of monachopsis.
Day after day it dwells in my mind as the worm carries on.

It adapts and evolves finding a solution to every mastermind plot I find from removing this creature, this beast, this worm from my mind.

“Friendship is betrayal, they all leave and deceive in the end,” it whispers through my head as if another conscience inside my being.

I fear the worms words and obey every command. Dare I disobey what dismay would come my way?

“Happiness is a lie along with perfection, never trace your hands along such deadly lines, the lines of which a mortal mind should never tread,” he says using my beliefs against me. “Happiness is for those who belong, not for you, never for you!”

The worm screams those words through my mind anytime I laugh or smile reminding me not to be so daft.

Oh beautiful, wonderful,brilliant demon of mine.
Keeping me from trying to find ways to end the suffering in my life

Morbid torment in the back of my mind,
Keeping me from trying to find ways to silence the loneliness screaming within, bringing me further into the dark.

What would I do without you, dear Loneliness?
You cloud my mind and free me from my foolish desires.

Why should I not be alone?
If I was meant to feel together,
Then together surely I would feel.

Why should I feel happiness when happiness isn’t mine?
How selfish I would be without you holy creature,
Beautiful blessed worm of wonder.

when it came
to me
and you
I always
chose you
and you
always
chose
you
too

the next time
a boy tells me,
“i love you”

i will respond with
“thanks,
me too.”

Selfish needy human that I am.

My false courage and determination.

Standing among the wreck;

The mess I seemingly created.

Confusion robs my judgment

And I stand lost and alone,

Until the pieces begin to fit.

But I will stand strong and steadfast

As this world tears apart.

Some people only feel when they hurt
Investing in a taker is like throwing your hard earned money down a bottomless well
It will never prove a return
Echos and silhouettes
Apparitions and mirrors
Yet not amounting to the real thing
Dogs barking at shadows on the lawn
Chasing their own tail ... Chasing the wind
Death is a more considerable option to the taker
As long as he doesn't have to give