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Tolani Feb 5
Thank you for breaking my heart.
I lost myself in you and your absence lead me back to me.

Thank you for leaving me bare and broken.
I'd forgotten how to stand on my own two feet.
Now I remember to be strong because I have no other choice now that you've left all alone.

Thank you for breaking all the promises you made, making me believe my whole life was within you.
Now I realise I have a life without you and it's just as beautiful.
Tolani Feb 5
On days like these I pray about you.
Put my faith in God that you'll come find me soon,
because honestly I'm missing you.

I'm missing having you here to hold me when I break down,
or when I'm cold or just need to feel your embrace.
It isn't the same holding someone you don't love.
You don't get that same feeling of warmth and safety and contentment.
Holding you feels like the world could end today and I wouldn't notice because its just me and you when I'm in your arms.

Your smile gives me hope, that there is innocence and light in this bleak world. And your laugh could breathe life back into a dead withering rose and paint it red again. And your kiss; feels the world stopped spinning.
Tolani Feb 5
It's been so long since I last saw you.
I don't cry anymore but God, do I still love you,
till this day..

Some afternoons are spent staring outside of my bedroom window just waiting for your grand return.
I envision a car going past, revealing you standing across the road looking back at me or, looking for me..
Eyes finally meet, filled with the same passion that never left.

Other days I just pray God takes the pain away,
because I know you're never coming back for me.
Tolani Oct 2018
Mornings on my own
Still wake up to you on my mind. The feelings never die.
Some days I feel empty, others I feel alive.
But always I wonder why, or what if.
What if we had tried?
Held on a little longer, it’s summer already outside.
Moving on but struggling to stop thinking what if
Tolani Sep 2018
I want to be with someone new.
Someone who understands and appreciates all I do.
Reciprocates the love I’m willing to give
And won’t leave me feeling so blue.
Tolani Sep 2018
Love me first!
Why do you think I’m undeserving?
When have I ever deserted you?
I could never do you wrong.
Yet you don’t ever love me first.

You love and crave temporary people,
But I’ve been here all along offering what those people couldn’t, making promises and keeping them.
Yet still you can’t just love me first.

You want someone who knows you inside and out.
Here I am. Why don’t I count?
You want someone to give you unconditional love. I have tried for a lifetime, yet you reject it.

Stop giving titles to undeserving men.
I was your first love.
Or is my love not good enough? Not tangible enough? I can’t caress you like they can.
But I am real and I am here and I want to love you.

So please, let me love you and let yourself love me, first.
Tolani Sep 2018
If I could paint I would paint you
if I were a musician
I’d write you a symphony
But there’s no art piece even the greatest of artists could devise that would come close in emulating my love for you

I love you so
My muse but more than temporary
My forever indefinitely
My love eternally

You are my sunshine that seeps through the clouds after rain.
You are my Poppy flower that continues to bloom through all the pain.
And you’re my hot evening shower after a long day.
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