And the truth flows free,
And the numbness fades,
And you're left in a daze,
And the pain hits again,
And the feelings you felt...
Well they remain the same.
And you hate yourself,
For feeling anything at all,
For a person who let you fall.
And the hearbeat falters,
And the tears glide freely,
And the fear comes back again.
And the brain goes crazy,
With the self doubting ways,
And ya feel like ya might implode.
Well those are the days...
Those are the moments,
To remember who you are.
Those feelings don't define you,
Nor should they confine you.

And the feelings subside,
And ya pick yourself up...
One broken piece at a time.
And you are now smiling,
And you truly laugh again...
And you find yourself once more,
Well those are the days...
Those are the moments...
That I truly adore.

because there was no one else
and i can't even help myself

Why do I sometimes feel so lost
When even at my kitchen table I no longer recognise the walls decorated in history.
Sometimes I curse the music that ricochets from amp to ear  
For it cannot drown out the sound of my own head
As we sit in an internal silent battle
The voice stirs its last cackle
Its witches brew of smouldering self doubt

When did I start to put so much pressure on myself?
Was it before or after I lost all confidence.
Am I the reason for my own demise
Or the only one who sees me for who I am
Why are some days different
Why.

Is this obsession?
Possession that I feel
Or simply the oxygen burn of my fire for you.
Is this how I am destined to see you?
Through eyes disturbed by my own historic fears
When I envisage better fingers upon your skin
A satisfaction I fear I could never achieve.
Is this defence?
My worry that soon I shall be the mundane
That makes you seek the excitement of another’s mystery.

Jealousy does not come from distrust
For I have never doubted the integrity of who you are
I am jealous of actions, not people
The looks, the contact
Elongated conversations
The freedom to be able to say yes
Inhabiting the same space
To share an embrace

I imagine the world looks upon you as I do
With desire and uncontrolled emotion
Where I am the least deserved suitor
And everyone else has more to offer than I
I fear the imagination in my mind
And how it can hurt me more than you
When I shall shrink until you no longer see me
Under the weight of my own self-deprecation;
Eventually leading you into someone else's arms who remind you of who I once was before I became no one

Yet the truth remains
That it is only without you that I am no one.

No matter how shattered our homes were
or how many times throughout the night we heard our own cries,
we all started off with a grin stretching over our faces
with wide eyes staring at the sapphire sky and the emerald trees,
curiosity always singing lullabies in our ears.
But eventually,
the sky turns to rust and the tree's leaves fall off
and we are left to wonder where we went wrong
and how we got to the edge of the world,
looking down a sempiternal pit of blank faces,
including your own.
And as we grew our hands became rougher
while others got smoother,
so with the same wide eyes
we gaze up at the people who we praised,
for climbing down the border of the earth
wondering how they fell into the world
and climbed off of it into their mind,
and it was only till now that we realized,
separate people conquer different insanities.

All she was left with
was a bunch of memories
All she was left with
Shadows and the storms within

So there she was
Sobbing, weeping
and secretly waiting
for a shoulder to lean

Time doesn't seemed to care
nor did the people
Days were taken granted for
and all the voices went feeble

Looking through the window one day
she realized that the panes had turned to dust
Looking at her body lay
with mind and heart turned to rust

Clouds had gathered that night
and rain fell with all its might
Cleansing the ground - and
cleansing her mind

The smell of the earth
reminded of the fragrance of hers
sand she started searching for the old her within

Just with the silver lightning struck
a lighting in her mind
and she stood to realize

Standing up walking is real happiness
searching within gives answers
helping self is more useful!!

So, there she stood
A woman who can reach heights!!
And for her history awaits!!

I know you think I'm the girl you've been looking for
I'm not you see,
I'm the storm
I'm the girl your mother warns you about
The girl that will ruin your life
Regret is laced in my blood
Heart break is tangled in the tips of my slitting hair
They name hurricanes after girls like me because they know all the disaster I leave
I'm the lion, never the lamb
My teeth are snarling and when they find nice boys to bite on they don't know how to let go until something has been ripped to pieces
I've tried to learn to be soft but you see I was born the storm
I'm the drug you don't want I'm the poison you really don't need
My snake bite heart ejects venom with my kiss then soon enough my boiled blood will be all over your best pair of Sunday shoes
I've never been a drizzle no matter how hard I try because I'm a ******* thunder rolling lighting cracking storm
I cannot calm the waves in my soul
Or the bombs in my words
I cannot shut of the earthquake that is me, it's been shaking my world since I was 5
I cannot love you right
Some girls are the beach but I'm a forest fire, come any closer and I will burn you alive
I know I'm beautiful in a tragic way
I know you think I'm the girl you've been looking for
I'm sorry
I cannot love you
I am the storm