I found myself
driving down the road
with the wind blowing
cigarette smoke in my face

I found myself
in the passenger seat of her car
with the bass kicking louder
than the lyrics we screamed

I found myself
in the reflections of windows we passed
blurred by the downpour of rain
but not completely erased

I found myself
in her laughter and
my name passing through her lips
as if it were her song

I found myself
alone
her name floating through my mind
wondering where the hell it went wrong

Tell me how it feels when you slide into bed at night knowing you lied to everyone you've ever loved?
Tell me does it hurt when your mom is overly religious and you believe she is insane?
Tell me does it hurt when your dad is too zoned out in old war movies to even notice you're crying in the corner?

I've never dealt with your pain.
My family was open and honest and accepting of who I was and wanted too be.

I've never dealt with your pain of finding something, anything, to get you through the day without the inside of your head screaming at you.

But, I have dealt with the sadness.
I have dealt with the anxiety of not being good enough.
So I say to you, you are not alone.

And when the sun shines but all you see is grey and sadness; I will be there for you.

I can't hold it back, they're too loud to bear...
"If it's all in your head, then why even care?"
They scream every word, every day, every night...
"If that's really true, why do you seem alright?"
It's all just a show, to escape from the pain...
"But what purpose would it serve, what would you gain?"
It muffles the sounds that terrorize my dreams,
And hope that one day I can quiet the screams...

Untitled entry, devoid as the space that fills my screen, killing words in their place.

Untitled entry, like clay to the mind, a blank white canvas with no art confined.

Untitled entry, once empty now filled with all of the words that it had once killed.

Untitled entry, filled up to the top, the words keep coming, but the screams won't stop.

Untitled entry, hard as I pray, the screaming continues, and wont go away.

Untitled entry, this world's not the same, for under the screams, they whisper my name.

Untitled entry, I can't let it go, of knowledge they speak, I just have to know.

Untitled entry, I know that they lie, to gain their knowledge, they say I must die.

Untitled entry, but do I dare tread, upon hallowed ground, reserved for the dead?

Untitled entry, curiosity won, their knowledge now mine, through my life undone.

Untitled entry, the words make no sound, the space in between is where we are found.

Untitled entry, no knowledge just dreams, tune out their whispers, ignore their screams.

Untitled entry, just please save yourself, beware my mistakes, no knowledge is wealth.

You scream, you scream
But I don’t ‘cause I don’t really care anymore

So I just sit here with my thumb in my mouth
Wondering what you make all this noise for

Silence speaks louder than words
You’re silence is screaming
Echoing inside my brain
“Your not good enough”

You can stop talking
I understand
I hear your silence
Loud and clear