******,
Lord...

I keep falling
short

If I could walk around
on my knees,
would You expect less of me?

Because the bar
seems too high
and I believe that
You've asked me to die

To myself
self-ish gain
to my ways
man's high-ways

And I think I've said
no
again and again
to the whims of my
fellow man

But it's never enough
it would seem
Fall flat off my feet once
again

Bar's too high
can't reach that high
How much more do You want me
to die?

When do I get to cry
"it's finished"
Have given enough to
once again feel
Your touch

When all I want
is to know You more
and this world around keeps
pushing me to the floor

Are my ways ever good
when only Your ways are God

Do I only reach higher
when I find myself lower
Cuz every **** day
I fall even shorter

I'm seeking perfection seated
on a throne
and today feels like I'm battling alone

Do I only find perfection
when I'm sitting on the ground
where heaven and earth meet
In a glorious dance
this miraculous romance
to find truth in the dichotomy
of dirt and divine

To stop reaching for a
kingdom in the sky
find eternity in my heart
this Kingdom is nigh

Lord,
I'm still falling
short
flat on my face
growing use to dirt in my mouth's
gritty taste

Maybe in moments of
my greatest failure
are where I meet
my relentless Savior

and to this day
I love you~love
beasty thinker
rodin's poetic
*vision warrior

Some pour any ointment they can find upon their insides so that they might stop the aching,
in some attempt to make all they can focus on a blur.
So that all they bottled up can flow away and stop the drain upon their life.

There are those who sit looking at canvases that they might seek to mark so many times
it would create something of beauty if it would only hide the ugliness beneath.
As if to carve some crack through which a light might shine and blot out the dark.
A light that might be found as friend or mother or lover that on the other side is a life preserver,
a sanctuary,
a single point afloat in all the world held onto so tightly
the white knuckle ride that would seem to only end when they let go.

But to let go,
                         is to fall.

to fall into that sea that numbs that crowds that never lets up.

To fall and stop so suddenly the world gives out below.

Were it not for those who hold us tight in some attempt to pull us up
there would be but one thing to stop the fall.
The people we talk with and dance with and live with can be the only things holding us up,
but those lines feel so thin that they might break at the slightest tug
so we hope they might somehow form a net,
something to catch us and carry us away to shore,

where finally
we can lay and rest.

Why can't everything be right?
Everyday we make mistakes.
We will never be perfect.
I just want everything to be alright.

I go for the wrong boys.
I disrespect my parents.
I do whatever I want,
And never listen to the background noise

I think I'm never going to change,
Until finally that one day came.
I walk up to the altar
And all the sudden I feel strange.

My world will never be the same.
I have gave my life to Him,
The Man up above.
I finally feel no more shame.

I'm tempted to go back to the way I was,
But that's not who I am anymore.
I'm done feeling down.
I'm done having withdraws.

This is me!
Loving, trusting, knowing the Lord.
"He heals the broken-hearted and bandages their wounds"
Verse Psalms 147:3

Could it be

Star in the sky shining bright,
Giving hope to this silent night.
Bethlehem is all a glow,
Pointing the way for all to know.

Could this be the sign we need?
Could this answer our every plead?
Could this be the end to our wait?
Could this baby save our fate?

Tiny stable of dirt and hay,
How could this be the only way?
Manger holding a swaddling son,
How could this be the chosen one?

Could this be the Savior's birth?
Could this child save the Earth?
Could this be why the Angel sings?
Could this boy be the King of Kings?

The mother Mary so young and pure,
Such a glorious burden to endure.
Father Joseph brave and true,
Could this miracle make all things new?

Could this be the one who forgives my sins?
Could this be where my new life begins?
Could this be the holy one with no guilt or blame?
Could this be the cover for all my shame?

Two thousand years later we celebrate this day,
Gone are the mangers filled with hay.
Diamonds, toys, and presents galore,
Could this be what jesus is remembered for?

Could this be how we celebrate our saving grace?
Could this materialism cause such deface?
Could this be why God brought us his son?
Could we so soon forget about the Holy One?

Like the star shining above that silent night,
Today we need to be His lights so bright.
So much as been forgotten about this time of year,
We so easily forget the Savior who cast out all fear.

Could it be we can say Merry Christmas without hesitation?
Could we sing our praises loud without reservation?
Could it be we not hide our faith and our love?
Could we proclaim our Lord reigns on Earth and Above?
Merry Christmas to all, may your hearts fill with joy,
Always remember the gift of this boy.
Could it be we celebrate this year right?
Share the good news, break the silence in this night.

Talking to my God
mutes the background of worldly idolatries,
voices that whisper of fear and hate and jealousy
and box me in until I’m stuck
in a dark corner of my ghoul-filled soul,
but the light that gleams from my heart
up to my closed lids finds me
walking on water to answer the call of the Lord,
for I cannot drown in the river of my sorrows
when He raises my chin and shows me the way
to an eternal place that will lift my spirit
if I raise my hands in worship.
I’d rather ask forgiveness
from that Savior in the Sky who listens to a sinner’s
valley-ramblings than shun the thirst for hope in this world,
even if it means chasing pride with holy water.

Talking to my God,
and the praise pours out, smoother
than the oil that blessed me as I stood
before my friend, our heads bowing
not from the shame that men forced upon us,
the lights we’ve lost and the suffering that broke us,
but from a conviction that resides in our hearts:
*Let us love one another, for love is from God.

Light, light...
Why do they always call me that
In the time before they leave me?

I live in dark.
I am surrounded by dark.
I am dark.

Maybe I need light,
Maybe I'm the demon and I need an angel;
I'm tired of saving fallen angels,
Maybe I'm fallen.

And I need a light to save
Me.