You’re swimming, okay,
And the Bible suddenly opens up.
Not many people are faced with this,
Except you: you’re an exception.

How do you take it?

Barely, would the sublime horror of communion pass on your lips
Once the ocean take its Leviathan form, and it opens its mouth to speak.
Its oratory becomes very clear in the maelstroms of countless gallons
Rushing blue cannibalizes itself before you; you have no time to think of death
When the salt’s burning your eyes and you’ve finally figured
How useful a gyroscope can be.

Too soon, three darknesses will emerge from the desolate homily
Taught not to discriminate in thought or action: the backs of your eyes
Straining against the buoyancy, the restfulness of not seeing a bottom,
And the path Jonah’s bones took, the disbeliever.

Mostly, you’ll want to congratulate yourself like a legend,
You wonderful *******, when you come in crashing on the waves.

My home is in your arms.
My home is where ever my family is.
The places that I go is only one step further to were I belong.
My home is the place that I am safe.

My family is my "home" per se.
Everything that is theirs is mine.
Everything that is mine is theirs.
My home is wherever they are.

My place is with you.
My heart is with you.
You are my "second home".
The love is true.

The faith is real.
You are the one that is keeping me safe.
You are saving me as I am saving you.
Don't forget that you are my "second home"

Classic fairy tales
Always start with once upon a time
Then somewhere a princess is put in danger
A little later her knight in shinning armor
Comes riding in
Saves her
They live happily ever after.

**** that.

I never enjoyed those stories
I never understood why the princess didn't help herself
I always resolved to never need saving
And yet, I never realized why they were always saved
Because humans need each other
I need to be saved.

Not in the knight in shining armor way
But I need someone to be there
I need someone to hold me
When night comes
At three am when I'm screaming at myself
At four am when I'm crying in my bathroom floor
At five am when I pass out and have nightmares
At six am when I wake up exhausted
At six pm when I come home and collapse

I never wanted to be that damsel in distress
But I never realized that in order to heal
Someone has to push me.

- r.y.s

Here's what I've been saving,
here's just a little taste.
I've wanted to say it,
so here it goes; I like your face.

I don't just mean "your face",
'cause I like the other parts too!
Together, I find them much better,
because together they make you.

And let's face it,
I like you more with eyes and ears and toes.
But what I love, perhaps most of all
is the tip of your stout little nose.

Now don't get me wrong,
I'd love you even with no bells or whistles.
Yet when you look at me with those eyes,
you make my heart race; blood sizzle.

I don't think I've gotten across
quite what I've wanted to say.
But maybe it just wasn't meant to be,
maybe it's for another day.

Step on me, go ahead.  Don't see my blood?
Truth be told it is red.  Don't hesitate.
I've been laying here for effervescent scores of time,
drifting in and out of knowing.
My heart sewn by threads of chance.
So scared of pain and the hurts I've lived.
reluctantly the love I give, is taken greedily.
And selfish truths come into light.
Cry I have like never before,
my mistake to open the door.
Lessons learned I did not head,
now I lay here on the floor to suffer my fate and bleed.
Darkness enveloping hope.
Jumping through hoops with a noose around my throat.
Praying each leap lands me on my pedestal without a false step.
The fatal end I know, waits for the careless step I take.
You the thief, who stole the whole of me.
All of me.
Made me go where I swore I would not.
Made me live my dreams.
Made me step out into fantasy,
My reality,
Come true to me,
Unbelievably,
I, so foolishly!
No one will ever catch me, my heart will never be.
Never see a safe horizon.
Never be surrounded in true and trusted arms of strength.
I can not save you, I can not save anyone,
For I need saving myself.
Can you save me?
Will you try?
Will you support my misguided step,
before the noose pulls tight?
I am bleeding on the floor, and running out of strength.
Will you stop my blood from running, or will you merely drink?

© Crystal Erickson 3/09/08

Pain and payment saturate me
Beyond the better disbelief of this
Leave my body on the pavement

Pray this degradations done separating
Whispers heard through closed doors
Leave me in a blatant panic attack, panting

Your head on my chest, i think of us
Keeps me warm so wont you write soon?
all i asked of the guardian angels

She said you will be a much better author than I, I smiled and said
I know you will be fine

More than one person remembers that day
as hot and tasting of catastrophe
in the flavor of airbag dust and gasoline.
We were talking as you drank your root beer.
Windows down. My shoes off…

4:02.
Your eyes widen
as metal screeches and the revving of engines
winds down, a man wearing sunglasses
yanks on my door, but it protrudes
into the cab. Another man takes you out —
shouts to me to move.  I can’t
find my shoes and my wallet is soaked.
Bystanders flock like they would at a circus
where a lion’s attacked his tamer.
Tears flow more freely than blood.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. God, my fault spills
from my bruised lips until finally,
I collapse to the pavement like the fender
of the opposing Mercedes.  

I tried but failed to explain
that swerving the car to save you
meant near-death for me. Only after
regret and responsibility that crushed
my lungs faded, the way mascara dries,
did I acknowledge,
I am here.

Don't mistake survival for happiness,
Read behind the eyes,
Read between the lines,
Don't ask for an open mind,
What's inside isn't all it seems,

Take the smile as a gospel truth,
Accept normality as a guide of peace
Be appeased the simple things are easy,
The daily routine is routinely pacifying.

All I ask as I carry on keeping on,
Remember the fight I engaged to be here,
To remain here, to stand not flee,
I will not ask for concern, just remember.
Please just remember I am still fighting.