Searing memories of love gone past,
pillars of sand that buckle
at high tide's first crash.
The castle carefully crafted with ***** firmly
in hand, but the waves destroyed it,
my walls, my structure, my protection
and then ran, leaving trailing footprints
outlined in the sand of its receding wake.

My fantasies have become very strange, I disturb myself at least once a day.

I imagine, my helpless body sinking. Sinking down deeper into an unknown. A memory of the only breath that would last a lifetime. A lifetime two minutes long.

I go to the library to find peace of mind, to find myself in the pages of a medical journal.
On the pages will be blooms of hope in the names of tablets that can ease my worried mind.

The cold sludge will embrace me tightly. Covering my eyes so I can't see any of the pain anymore. Holding my limbs tight, to remind me that its always there. That deaths embrace is certain. That I will be at peace.

Papercuts cover my frantically searching hands, like warriors. They're fighting for my life, a war against myself. Cramming pages into my eyes and plugging my ears with facts. A Freudian overload, a desperate attempt to medicalise my state of mind.

The thick taste of salty sand fills my mouth, my breath gasps, my involuntary reflex to save my life. The silence comes, the voices fade away. Its bittersweet that my death brings my every fantasy.

They clatter as they hit the sink, prescribed nonsense designed to pull me into myself. Make me more compliant. Dig my own hole deeper. Make me easier for society to swallow, for you to deal with. My hands have finally saved me, poured away the mind-altering remedies. Showed me the only thing I ever needed was already part of me.

The ocean spray of salt
The everlasting sounds of waves
The sand, a locked vault
The tide, an unforgiving grave

The sun rises at the edge
The memories so celestial
I take my loyal pledge
My heart a sailing vessel

Sea shells, colorful in sound
Sea life, beautiful in sight
A dream I’ve finally found
The sunset, a hypnotizing light

The airborne seagulls calling me to sink
The surf alluring a magical peace
My endeavors start to shrink
The stars turn to be my timepiece

If I had known
would I still be on a throne?
One created in which I held such,
A beautiful world in the palm of my hands

I've turned everything to sand
this is the home on which my castle stands
My actions have become the waves creeping
up the shore
washing it all away

I'm too stubborn to make things better on a re-do
There'd be so many memories to lose
A good decision for me, is like searching for a needle in a haystack
Regret is an emotion, you cant take back

When you regretted your love for me, that's when I knew I went so far, I couldn't come back.....

I want an ocean
Full of life
Full of roaring waves
A blue, that only an ocean possesses

I want a cool breeze
Fresh and salty
Perfect for the sunny days
That roam the beach

I want seagulls
And seashells
Covering the bay
Decorations in their own way

I want sand
Sand that’s cold and wet
Dense from the waves
Crashing against it

I want those days back
Of nothing to do
But breathe in beauty
And stare at blue

Come to the sea
Hold my hand a while
Let the waves melt our feet
Into the sand
The seagulls land
On our shoulders
Calling out to the wind
The salt rust our bodies

How many years will it take
For our light
To burn out
For all sailors to see?

My darkness has more depth
My shadows are much taller
My reflection is merely rippling sand.