Fake smile
Dried eyes
Scratched wrists
Bruised thighs
White pills
Rope tied
Gun loaded
SUICIDE.

Fear is the trap that confines all
Fear is holding hands with the grim reaper
It will haunt you to your grave
Taunt you in your dreams
Tie you back with the strongest rope there is and the hardest knot to escape from
Fear takes no time to find you
Takes no time to hypnotise you
Distorting your beliefs, questions are all that linger
Yes fear is strong but we go on

Held together
On both ends.
Two different people.
Friends.

One lets go.
One stays.
One is free.
The other betrayed.

One is gone.
So the other goes too.
But soon comes back,
Faced with someone new.

They pull on both ends.
Straighten it out.
Watch as the mess clears.
Wonder what life's about.

there's an invisible rope around my throat,
a cord of coarse thread,
and if it were to ever leave me
i think i'd lose my head.

Love is a trick,
a facade, a mirage,
Love is a poisoned apple,
sweeter and sweeter with every bite,
and before you know it,

you're dead.

Love is a rope,
strings and strings tied together,
growing tighter
constricting like a snake, until you can't breathe.

Love is a door,
being pounded on,
screaming "Open Up",
over and over.

Until you just can't scream anymore.

Love trickles,
droplets of rain,
washing down through the sewers,
simply a drink for the rats.

Love is the tick of a clock,
tick, tick, tick,
stopping time, making a minute feel like eternity,
making a day feel like a second.

Love is a trick,
but Love is everything.

I'm climbing this mountain
even though it scares my skin,
and turn the breath that I exhale
into a cloud that spells a name.
A name I'm not allowed to hail
or it will keep on echoing.
Now the wind kept on whispering
to just leave the mess I'm in
because it knows that I'll fall again
and go back to the beginning,
and it'd be easier if I just let go
the painful grip of this solid rope.
I don't see a glimpse of hope.
Good thing I wore an extra coat
even if I look like a joke.
I won't think to walk away
but now the sky is turning grey,
the ground I'm on starting to fade,
the stars above start to awake,
the moon says it's now too late.
I know it's fate to fail to get on top
but still I'll fight, for faith will not.
Then, tonight the wind just stopped.
Now it's silence that whispers "stop".
It begs for me to let me drop.
I start to ask myself on why,
and what's waiting on that height.
If I reach the top tonight-
I would forget the name, I might.
Although unsure, it's worth the try.
So I then pull with all that I can.
This time I chose not just to stand.
This time I might just win this one.
I can feel excitement in my hand,
Everything is going just as planned.
With so much determination,
fortunately, the sun is on horizon.
To add, I chanted all my motivation,
every word that I know is inspiration.
"Rejection", "Redemption", "Salvation",
"my friends", "my hobby", "my family ",
I went on until I accidentally
said the word that was keeping me
from ending this entire journey.
Your name, your name so heavenly!

The ground I was on became icy flat,
the sky darkens and began to spat,
the wind angrily began to flap.
I tried to hold myself intact
but the rope I held began to snap.
I screamed but there was no sound.
I couldn't see below, the ground.
Is this my end, the final round?
Well at least I die being proud
that I fought despite all my doubt.

Then I wake up, body in pain.
Why am I here, is this the way
to where I'm wanted by my brain?
I don't see any road nor highway.
All that is here is this rope and this mountain.

I’ve dreaded this imploding moment
my entire life unknowingly,
if there was a way to avoid it; I have blown it,
growing pains should end when you stop growing.

I’ve got speckle scars on my palms
they’re always kissing my fingernails,
there’s only one thing I’ve found that calms,
but the road collapses or the guide always bails.
“This is your brain”, but the egg doesn’t crack,
no sizzling grease rain, no white burning black.

It’s the things that feel the best that also cause the pain,
as you can only enjoy the sunshine when you’ve had a spout of rain.
Just like you can’t have a fire without an initial spark,
and you can’t bathe in the light unless you’re drowning in the dark.

But what if I’m tired of obvious consequence,
Hell, I’m tired of everything these ******’ days,
where self medicating was once used in past tense,
I think it’s time for me to revert to my old ways.

So fill a rig until it’s completely full,
and shoot me up with some false hope,
it correlates your method of push over pull,
but it’s still not as good as actual dope.
And let me rail a line of pure nirvana and bliss,
if you’re the one to cut it atleast you gave it to me technically,
if something was never there, how can it be something you miss?
I’ll keep feeding the habit until I can no longer breathe.

Destiny lost when fate found a wall of defy
to change it I would sell all of my remaining soul,
and I think I now know the reason why,
a bandaid won’t ever cover a bullet hole.