My struggle to actually leave, mind, body and soul
Has blurred the lines between real and desire
My absolute need to walk away whole
All muddied up consumed by your fire
It is easier to sit back and dream, ever loyal
I am very comfortable in this risk free zone
Waiting for you to leave your contaminated soil
Praying you come with me and make a home
Hope, faith and visions, all tools I use to stay right here
Today my gut is reminding me I'm living an illusion
Nothing I do, see or know today is clear
I am stuck in self inflicted mass confusion
Do you feel anything I send in to spark feeling?
Are you at all open to getting to know me
Do my words reach, comfort, touch or send you reeling
Pushing you further away and feeling the need to flee
I apologize for drawing you into my ego everyday
My desperation must be so hard to endure
I don't like not getting the things I want or my way
You cutting me off, if you so desire will end this for sure
So I must send this as my last poem you will read
Putting you down as my pen writes the final line
I remember now your words I will heed
"I can't feel what I don't feel", please stay gone, I will be fine

Becky Jo Gibson

Apology Not Accepted

Last meal, last drink, last walk, last breath.
This is real and I am content with this end.
For taking her life I am sentenced to death.
Perhaps this will help her children mend.

So long ago yet I still recall every detail.
I know what day it was and the time on the clock.
I was following the tracks determined to ride the rails.
The woman said she was just taking a walk.

I remember her eyes were bloodshot and wet.
I expressed concern for the bruises present.
Her head spun to face me, her eyes heated and set.
She scolded me for speaking of something so unpleasant.

Her body became tense and then relaxed completely.
She stared at the tracks as the train came into view.
Her eyes softened and she turned to me smiling sweetly.
She apologized and asked that I forgive what she was about to do.

Confused I asked why she was asking me to forgive her.
She laughed, said for the image sure to stay in your mind.
My eyes met hers and I felt something inside me stir.
She thanked me for being so concerned and kind.

As she turned her hands came together in prayer.
Seconds later she stepped in front of the train.
Stunned all I could do was stand there and stare.
Her body ripped apart and blood fell like rain.

A witness said I pushed her into the train's path.
The distance between us prevented a different end.
If I could have reached her I would have known her wrath.
However to remove the image left in me I pretend.

I spoke only on the moments leading up to the witnesses lie.
My life was empty and I was craving a way to get away from me.
This is a relief from the images implanted in my minds eye.
I am not guilty of killing her yet I welcome the end of eyes that see.

Becky Jo Gibson

If I had given up along the way
No way would I be where I am today.
Though reaching our goals can at times be tough,
To get where we want...we must want it enough.

The anxiety in my stomach just won't resolve
All it seems to do is get bigger & evolve
last time I felt this way t'was drastic
last time I felt this way my family split up like worn out elastic  
Child hood memories cut deformed & violated
Child hood memories ultimately lacerated
I pray history won't repeat
Pray that this anxiety will go away and take a seat

Only yesterday that your glass blew
The flame was burning untouchable
The disk spinning fast, un-reversible

No home in a town so inhospitable
A world where questions are daft
Drafted to unravel an inbuilt psyche

I stand out in the jungle countryside
Strumming listening to “wild world”
Each rhythm a wavy walk on a path

Steps and strolls always sidetracked
The poppy field faded in sheen redness
When it turned cold and bled sourness

It was me who was left by the riverside
I sat by the bank and dreamed away
Then viewed my mirrored reflection

Melted in indecisions and intricacies
Extreme ongoing cognition appraisals
Silenced in the sound of the stillness

The flash of the grassed field called me
Embraced me as I paraded on the verge
A resolving embrace of a stab erased

I plead not to be understood or wanted
For these riffles are fixated on our heads
Bolted in our thoughts, wants and desires

Violent aggression
Extreme violation


Cops called
No resolve

Glasses…


Is the glass half-empty, is it half-full
Or perhaps there’s no glass there at all
Every event that I ever faced
Would have still taken place as I recall.
But my part in them, I controlled myself
For our will to think freely gives us choice
We should use our will now in the moment
With wisdom we’ve earned when raising our voice.
Attack the future with vigour and might
Fend off the negative thoughts that we hold
Face up to the days ahead with courage
For fortune favours the brave and the bold.
          Many are they who would bring you down low
          Free will can help you decide not to go.

©Joe Wilson – Glasses…2016

Tell me you don't want me

So I'll leave and never bother you again

...

I've grown tired of your games.