the pure hallowed souls
of tribes children behind us
we stand resolute

Sleeping on the top bunk
I got really good at crying
without making a sound.
Strong and resolute,
is what I aspired and pretended to be.
I never learned to fight,
let alone to fight fair.
There is no room for contention
between myself and I,
or anyone for that matter.
Now I seem to be left defenseless,
but can't tell the difference
between safety, security
and when I need to be defended.
Everything is easy,
everything is lovely.
Sleep instead of thinking,
like my mother before.

Sounds swim constantly
Through the aches behind my unopened eyes.
The latest slumber trek is at an end.

The pace of my brain
Akin to a shortsighted grasshopper:
No focus,
Leaping all over the pace.

My inert body
Resolutely immoveable.

Just 5 more minutes.

Silly boy, you weren't ready for this.
You hadn't studied for it.
Love is joy, you never felt it like that.
Now it's your weapon.

How is this for you?
Does it help?
Will this pain bring you to work harder?
ть в порядке?

Angels watch your misguided adventure.
They're laughing at you.
God whispers into your ear.
Or is he the devil?

People avoid your crooked walk.
Loved ones, already cursed with your touch.
She got away, and is still cursed.
You divide .

How long will the wind guide you.
Devoid of free will.
**** them all.
Curse them with your touch.

Forever within your heart.
Poison your mind with doubt.
Silly boy, you gave up choice already.
Now you're on a road to ******.

Angels lower their heads in disappointment.
Devils look away.
Just another obsession.
I'm about to turn to dust.