The rising anxiety
Flares my insecurity.
I clear my throat,
The words just
won't come out right.
And I stutter and avoid
Staring at my audience
And I bit my lip,
Remembering hours
Of memorizing my topic
Only to forget it
Right on the spot.
I gather my courage and do my best
I finish my presentation
And they clap politely
And the relief is my refuge as I sit
With something of pride in my eyes.

I watch as the rain falls down
Each drop is the slow fall of every obstacle, waiting to meet you
As I sit under shelter I see the water shade everything it desires
It takes no mercy on any prisoner it lays its eyes on
But I am protected from the rain and its sheer coldness
The stream of water on the pavement chases after my feet
But I step away, avoiding the pain
The beauty of the rain tempts me, reminding me that I am a coward
There is nothing to fear
The damp grass, cloudy sky, moist air welcome me
It wants to shower me in love
The droplets of life only want to hold me
The rain is opening its arms and inviting me into relief
I step out...

Pains gauging  
           emotions...

Looking across the room

my pain relief...

The sea has a way of forgiving
without apologizing for anything.
She swims far from humanity
yet she invites us in,
she pulls at our sands
and it lulls us to relief
while offering sustenance
and cold, sweet belief -
but when she wants us out,
she throws us like ships,
pieces of a hard-lost board game,
and if we try to resist her,
she takes us in,
and she apologizes,
but does not forgive us.

Used to stay up till she'd fallen asleep,
Used to talk about the secrets of the universe,
Used to talk about the color of the ant.
Used to move and laugh
Used to sit together, happy in a silence.

Look at us now.

Use to fall asleep while she's up,
cause
Don't use to talk about our worries,
Don't use to talk about our interests.
Don't use to laugh at crazy nothings
Don't use to have the same happy silence.

And the crazy long kisses.

It means that you feel the same?

You are the saddest person I know.
You are the most beautiful person.
You are still the only one.

I don't know what has changed.
I don't know if it's just your sadness.
I don't know if it's me.

Would love to help you.
Would love to be here with you.
Would love to know if I still have you.

But
Do you want my help?
Do you want me to be next to you?
Do you feel like a part of me?

Life is cruel.
It's hard to live for you, I know.
It's the unknown pain for me, I know.
It feels better to be alone, I know.

But
You need to understand
That I only want to help you,
That I want to see smile on you,
That I would give the world to you,
That I'm here for you,
That I just want to be with you.

That I don't understand where are you.

I love you.