Matthew Vargas

Matthew Vargas Mar 2019

Mother, mother
I wanted to tell you.
Of all the heart aches and tearful nights I've had
and you never noticed.
Mother, I'm breaking.
Mother, I'm shaking.
Oh Mother, I'm the son you never acknowledged.
Mother this world is corrupting me.
I tried to be the good child
you raised.
To live in peace and harmony and to love others with all my heart.
But I'm tearing myself apart.
I'm falling apart at the seams.
And it's all I can do to keep myself together.
Mother it's getting harder to drag myself out of bed.
Mother, I'm drinking the pain away.
Mother, I'm starting to drown.
Mother, I need someone.
Mother, please save me.
Mother... It's over. I'm through. I've had enough.
I'm damaged. They've damaged me, mother.
Good night, mother, Good bye. I love you. I'm sorry..

#letter #mother #sad #helpless

Matthew Vargas Mar 2019

try to forget

Only years could wash away these feelings.
because ive spent a millennia memorizing
how your eyes light up when you smile, the dimples surrounding your cheeks.
how you look down when you're flustered or ashamed.
or the way you laugh, hiding the action with your hand in front of your face.
but you're gone.
You're gone and there's not a single thing I can do to change that.

#forget #remember #regret #pain #smile

Matthew Vargas Mar 2019

my favorite tale

Dark and light, cool and bright,
Sun and moon, the princess and the fool.
The only story I'd wanna hear
Is the one where we could disappear
To a faraway land
With milk and honey
And if we could see the rings of Saturn,
That would be enough.
You and me
Me and you.
Black and white. Dark and light
Stark contrast of colors and emotions.

#opposites #dark #light #cool #warm #space

Matthew Vargas Mar 2019

Tomorrow & Today

Overwhelming desires
Burn fires
Into the heart of my soul
I wish to grow old
And live without regret
with memories I will not forget

Tomorrow is filled with chance
Love, pain, art, sadness, dance
Endless opportunities
Boundless liberties
So bring your wishes
Bring hugs and kisses

Because today is beginning
Happiness is winning
Let the morning sun
Guide you to adventure and fun!

#tomorrow #today

Matthew Vargas Mar 2019

Rebellion

Rising through demolition
They scream for my submission
And I refuse to lose
My identity is me.
Not my "ideas."
Not my "beliefs."
But who you see before you
Is who I am.
And not one thing you do
Will take that away from me.

#rebellionrevolutionfreedom

Matthew Vargas Dec 2017

An endless failure of a love

Hours and hours, I paint flowers without many cowers until you came and opened my heart.
Now I'm falling apart.
I wished and hoped for forever, but we never even got together.
I was a fool.
A miserable fool filled with the illusion of love and believing you were an angel sent from above.
I loved you.
I loved you more than the soft sketches on my skin, more than the morning sun.
Now, my love, look at what you've done-
You played my heart and I played the fool.
I was a great distraction wasn't I? A wonderful tool...
I've said goodbye.
But I won't lie,
I'll never find someone like you
But if only... If only we had been true.
Not that it matters. I don't matter. It's fine and I understand that now, I was the one pushing and rushing.
You were the one ******* and fussing.
And that's fine
By the end of this rhyme
I'll find someone new.
Someone unlike you.

Failed.

#love #fake #tired #heartache #depression

Matthew Vargas Oct 2017

Confession of a Transboy

Sorry to disappoint you, mother, father
But I'm not your daughter
Sorry classmates, I'm not a her
I'm a sir.
I've spread these wings, I'm ready for flight
And if necessary, I'm ready to fight
I'm sick and tired of hiding
I'm through with denying
This is me
I will be true to my heart
Nothing will shatter my pride apart.
I'm a boy. I'm a man.
And someday family, I hope you understand.

I wrote this and I'm gonna start posting more trans and queer related stuff woo!

#transboy #transgender #ftm #queer #pride #lgbt