I wish I was a Black boy that flew
Then all of my dreams would come true
Because people really don’t understand what I go through

If I could get away
I would
But I always seem to stick out

Sticking out like a sore thumb
Unwanted

I try to yell for help
However, no one understands my language
Foreign to all

I try to grab a hold, but my hand slips
And goes straight through
Appearing faded like a ghost

I try to climb up
But I repeatedly get pulled back down
Stripping me of my progress

So, I run away
Lungs gasping for air
I try to run as fast as I can

Knowing in my mind
That humanity is on the other side

Life or Death
Freedom or *******
Pain or Chains

So, I run
Bursting closer and closer
Sprinting to the finish line

But I trip
They catch me
Cutting my Achilles
As I Heal

I realize
That success is inevitable
As I swallow this unbearable pill
And wipe away invisible tears from my treacle eyes

Knowing that life isn’t 100 proof
Life has contradiction

Contradictions of
Impossible
Difficult
Hard
No Way
I Can’t
Fear
Failure

I laugh
Uncontrollably
To keep away the thought of crying
Because the pain cuts deep

Intensely
On the other side of the bank
The narrow trees
Through shallow waters
My hand extends
There's Our Journey
Our Path
Our Blueprint  
Our Success

Unleashing my spirit
Freeing this caged bird
I Fly!

I Fly high in the sky
Soaring to new lengths
Breaking Cycles
Discovering Life  

Writing my own story
Making history

As I glide through the canvas
I illustrate

I am the Black Boy that flew!

Hurting something nobody sees me doing
hurting is something i didn't realize i was doing for a long time
till i locked myself up in a room and turned off all the lights
shut the blinds and sat in the dark room
hurting is something i didn't realize i was doing till I couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore and smile
to where I couldn't look at a lighter anymore and think of it as a tool to light a candle
hurting is something we all do but don't realize it

They say I’m mad at the world
Go figure right
The biggest stereotype there is
An Angry Black Man
But maybe this is true
Maybe I am
Maybe I’m mad at the world
For how I’m treated
Inequalities I deal with every day
Or how I get looked down upon like I’m a crumb on the dirtiest of grounds
Like I’m a peasant: a beastly creature
A killer that was never pushed
Just one more **** they won’t have to arrest soon
Because they believe in executions!
Death by firing squad!
So maybe I am angry
Furious
Shouldn’t I have the right to express myself?
Express my opinions on this jaded society!
But then again, they say it's not a societal norm  
So I rebuttal,
**** normality
They say shut up and dribble!
They say you’re canceled
They say you can’t feel this way
But why can’t I feel this way?
How Sway?
I mean isn’t this a “FREE COUNTRY”?
Don’t I have “First Amendment rights”?
Doesn’t the “Constitution apply to me”?
Can I be free?
They say I’m going to end up either dead or in jail
But why can’t I be a lawyer?
And maybe go to Yale
As I yell and get on my knees
Crying out in pain and agony
Saying please
Lord help me
Protect me
Lord, give me wisdom
So, I can have a strong mind
To get through these hard times
Exhausted and Traumatized
I pause
And close my eyes

Who am I?
It’s life’s greatest question.
Life’s biggest quest.
We go through life with this feeling.
The feeling of needing to know
But not fully knowing what we are missing.
People become anxious,
Anxious of not knowing their purpose.
They become scared,
Scared they will never know.
But the reality is,
Life’s beauty is in the unknown.
The journey of finding your purpose.
So enjoy it.
Enjoy the unknown.
Enjoy the mystery.
Because in the end,
Whether big or small,
You make an impact on this world.

I look into the mirror
That’s
Foggy and blurred,

And wrap myself around
The shape
I see in return.

Put a face to name,
And name to face,

Turn my back and suddenly,
That’s

Not

The

Case?

Watching from afar
As another cries,

Helpless to do anything but
Keep it inside

And escape the mess
that’s only mine,
Navigate the maze
Inside their mind.

Holding out a hand I could never take,
slamming on a door that I couldn’t

Break,

But now that you’re
holding out
the key to

me,

One can finally
See—


Past the

mirror

Image.

Never in this world
I would ever wish to stay
Dreams and not the days

do you exist?

in this realm,
in this time,
in this small blip of moments,

and if so,
how do i capture you?
hold you in my hands.
in my heart.
how do i seek you out?

when you’re nothing of our kind.
neither here nor there.
you’re simply smoke and mirrors.
nowhere, yet everywhere.

you’ve got no flesh and bones,
simply god made and grown.
you’ve got no fear, just quest,
a longing to roam.

are you even real?

or just an ache that I conceal?

if you are just fiction,
how do I conjure you
and keep you with conviction?

you’d be locked into my mind.
giving me endless daydreams,
yet consuming all my time.

then maybe i’d be lost
in your never ending shimmer.

my life and light would fade
in comparison
to a low flicker dimmer.

i would waste my decades decaying.
simple, stupid, and waiting.

i would turn down every suitor.
yet I would be an angry, seething,
lovelorn refuter

and if i can’t have you,
or sift my hands to grasp,
what will be the purpose?
and what heart of mine will last?