You’re the one the I need.
You’re the one that I wanted.
You’re the one I get hurt for
You’re the one that I lean on.

I sit outside contemplating if I’ll ever have the right words to fully orchestrate the greatest love song.
Pondering on the ideology behind each symphony and melody.
Trying to figure out if I can truly compensate for each octave. After all I’m no singer.

I stand before a very large crowd. All eyes on me. I hear each murmur from the background. It would seem they are all waiting on me.
Dressed and draped in black, my hands begin to shiver, sweat trickling down my forehead.
I don’t have the voice for this. How on earth do I put on the greatest show.

Deep breath, inhale, exhale. I tell myself. If it’s all for a love like no other.
Surely I can make this work. Somehow I can. Because if it’s for her. Then I need to become the greatest showman to date.

I want to say things like “I’ve never believed in fate and that every fibre in me believes there’s no destiny. That I always sought love to be superficial or more of a fantasy.”
However I’ve always been a sucker for romance.
And I always believed that love could enhance every bit of our surrounding. And in saying so. I am stating to you that you’re my comfort in ending. And I hope that having a knowledge of this is profound. Because at the end of the day, you’re the only love I need and have found.

I stare in awe at the crowd. At first lost for words. But to the thought of you, I’ve found inspiration. At the sight of you, my confidence sky rockets. I don’t know if you know but you’re my motivation. And for as long as I can imagine, all that I want and need is within you.

I’m a victim of love.
I have stood before Cupid and allowed for him to take a mugshot of me love drunk.
I’ve been in a position whereby I fought love and thought it was love.
But my reality always pulled me out of this dream. Dragged by gravity. I realised it was all idealised, conceptualised misunderstandings of what I thought was what my heart needed.
Because at the end of the day. The love I had given out was never reciprocated. It made me feel as if I was doomed.
As if I was to be consumed by the world and to be hastily chewed up and spit by the people that took my heart only to decide that it wasn’t good enough.

Feeling like you’re not good enough and being put in that situation is painful. I remember fully telling myself that I cannot be that again. I need love that is not only healthy but will help me grow and become better and be in a case of “Finally, I feel at home”

When you walked and came into my life. I never expected that.
I know I was wholly curious about you.
I know I wanted to know more, I wanted to know what makes you smile, what makes you laugh, what makes you happy, sad, confused, confident, what ticks you off, what angers you, what makes you. So you.
And how can I be apart of your life. How can I see that smile everyday and make you laugh and make you see the world the way I see it in your eyes.

And it’s weird. I know.
But when i heard your name for the first time.
It felt like my heart finally found its other half.
I love you.

From time to time
darkness graces
me with a visit.
A dear old friend and she
brought along wicked pain
and compartmentalized stress.
We barter our lifeline
to get the snake eyes that are crucial for success.
The poison is also the cure.
I accept stress and pain
to let out the darkness
and I manage to finesse
a new lesson.  
Every time is the last one,
it grips me
the ****** burdening load.

Then it's just darkness
and I, having a petty blast
and finishing our flasks.
Darkness's reassurance
that life evaporates
like a flame
made me accept
the darkness within.
The poison made me
crackle and under the dark sky
I glowed
in spite of the beating of time.

i've learned the hard way
that life will never be
as beautiful as poetry
and that we will never be
as perfect as we sound
when squished between
similes and metaphors
so while we don't fit together
quite as well as puzzle pieces
and you sometimes
might not complete me
as well as a cup of coffee
my hand still feels
quite nice in yours

and i don't need a poem to say that

The first time in a long time, you've finally been able to rest.
No, not a rest your eyes for a few minutes type of rest.
The real deal.
You're on a break from your job.
From school.
Life has started again.

You can talk to your friends.
Really plan a date this time...
You've been talking to a guy/gal.
You can't tell if you're starting to fall for them.

You've never done this before, but you've wanted it so bad.
You don't get complimented often.
You've never been flirted with by someone you've been attracted to.
It's not like you're only into models or pseudo-**** guys/gals.
Your type of "average" is cute, so your bar isn't that high.

You get a text message from your phone.
You grab it and read what it says.
Your eyes widen!
You clutch your chest!


...Your heart stops.
It drops...




Far
   far
       far
         ...down...


                                         "I've found someone!"

you made me Believe,
Anything was possible,
if you are with mE,
To fight, to love, to hope,
some said it's against Realism,
It's does not matter,
you and only us, i Cared about,
Endlessly i will love you.

Days and night pass by
Your smile couldnt switch on my bedroom light.
I gulp down my inner voices;
Burning my throat and body.
I can just say," i like you"
Needing not to beat around the bush.
But it's so hard,
To move my tongue and say it bravely.
My words are not smoke
Dont put out with your cold heart.
On my happy moments,
I wanna share my joy.
On my sad moments
I just want to lie on your chest.
It is just a sick fantasy!
I hurt myself
With these fantasy.
I neglect my family and friends.
I hurt them.