Words trapped in a web of deceit,
Ready to be eaten by a hateful society.
Quick on their feet, so fast to judge;
And I sit and I think,
What should I do to stay true?
But also avoid the painful realities
That lie before me.
How do I find a new way to better days?
The web is strong,
But it's not indestructible.

i am a cloud that's been forced
into a shape and labeled "girl"
and it doesn't. feel. right.

i'm not supposed to be in this body
this soul doesn't fit in any skin
i was a ghost in another life
someday i will be again

i could just be a black cloud
i could just float around whispering
to kids who feel trapped
like i did.

i could enfold them
let them take rest
give them a minute away from this mess.
but i'm stuck
here, and so are the words in my throat.

Eyes wide
you do not allow
oblivious sleep
shadows branded
on my retina
reveal all contrast
tattooed on my shoulder
a skeletal hand
this illusion  
pins me down

your questions
have no answers
questions remain
asked again and again
I swear
I know nothing

You say everything
is immaterial
subjectively real
ideas existent
in the mind
of the perceiver
I am
(you insist)
a true believer

Parched and shrinking
I ask for mercy
you bring the cup
to my fissured lips
but it is empty
a vessel of air
you murmur
there is only enough
for one
what will you give
in return?

Heavy metal
arpeggios of wind
head bang
petulant faces
inured to rain
a repeating refrain
in falsehood
lies your truth

but even you
cannot halt the dawn
a dark horizon
pulls the strings
powerless
you sink
behind the cloud-
wall of your storm

is it safe now to close my eyes?
three times whisper
be gone
              bright fiend
a weary incantation
spell of protection
the yawning wind
done with howling
hums reassuringly
                            
                       *“a change is gonna come
                                                            ­      imagine
                                                   ­                            peace in our time”

Why it took me so long to grow up?
While you were pouring yourself over beds
I was fighting demons with my head...

And if I find myself at a crossroad,
no one to turn to, no man's land
I still have my friend's hand
I still have the heat of those
who never go far
I'll go back...oh no, I will never go back!

Because
I do love you, I do love you
but I cannot fight my life
And your insistence
makes my heart pound
but not in a good way

And if I find myself at a crossroad,
without you, without him,
I don't have time to cry, because, oh,
this is life....

And if I find myself alone again
I've been here before
I've got a crutch, prosthetic legs
I've learnt a lot, that never wanes.

And if I find myself again alone
I won't spend my time in the Tinders of the world.
And if the cloth's about to tear,
let it tear down, tear us down
and go on, go on...

I'm prepared for the worst
and I'm standing strong

I hope you understand
Why I do not believe in you.
From the evidence at hand;
The many things you choose not to do.
I’d vilify a human friend
Who told me like you did
Of how you were watching
Then ran away and hid.

Children keep dying
The poor and the weak too
And you still seem to find
No cause to see them through;
To put clothes on the backs
Of those who are in need.
Nor do you strike down
Those who worship greed.

Your followers tell lies
And expect us to believe
And demand we ignore
Those who suffer and grieve
If they are different
From those in power.
Their speeches all the same
It’s never our hour.

It’s always time for tithes
The bribes they demand
But paying back so seldom
Is ever quite at hand.
It’s always time for us to
Have sympathy and charity
But not for the rich and strong.
Where is the parity?

So, if you create everything
And see the falling sparrow
Why are you deaf so often
Your vision so **** narrow?
It’s been thousands of years
Since your supposed first night.
When will you fix things
And set your world aright?

Could it be, as I always say
That you really don’t exist?
I see no reason to believe,
Thus I must insist;
There cannot be a loving god
Unless he is one of many.
Either way, I fail to see
The proof that we have any.

I don't know
Something's wrong
I feel weird
I feel low

Seems like a circle
All the way round
Feels like a bubble
Bubble of doubt

Doubts everywhere
Doubts here and there
The insecurities
Have become real

Why do I feel
The things I feel
The world is changing
All around me

I have to hear
And to perceive
This is not the world
This is only me

Not only me though
Me and my mind
They have caused this
They are combined

Since I know this
I have to go on
Being aware
Cause it's nothing at all.

How many more beers until the moon looks full again
How many before I've made some friends
Combined, is it enough to make me whole, then?
I’ll keep drinking until I reach a dead end.

How many sips does to take to reach the truth
How many to bridge the distance between me and you.
If I sip long and hard, will it be easier to let loose?
I’ll keep sipping til it’s warm and I'm old news.

How many steps before I find the path I should be on?
How many before I know it’s the right one?
If I keep on stepping, will I find myself on the proper side of the sun?
I suppose I’ll keep stepping along.

How many sleepless hours until I've cracked the code?
How many split the difference between insane, and genius mode.
If I fake it til I make it,  when I've made it, how will I know?
I’ll only be up a few more minutes or so.




C.e.M.

She was there alone that night
She was thinking, she felt fright
She was alone and there was light
She didn't go, she didn't mind

He was a perfect idea of many
He would have found her
And understood
She was alone and the night rather rainy
She stayed at home here
She embraced her fear

Fears and Ideas
Mixed up together
Just as a bright foggy snowy weather
Tumbling around
Feeling dizzy and drunk
Thoughts are confusing
Why do they matter?

She sat there and sat
The candle burned red
The light throwing scary pictures around her
She tried to believe, she hoped
But today she didn't received the relief
Anyway

Sunken eyes, minds and hearts
of even the strongest souls
have drowned in the Sea of Calamity.
Their last rational thought being
*Where did it all go wrong?