When I was a child light shone
angels through my fingers
crowning my parents’ faces,
blessing the simple tasks of theirs:
table setting, pouring water—
how it lit the world in my upturned smile
and flowed through as I grew
and how it followed me home
and stayed, even in the dark.

Light was the water, earth,
reflecting off every animal,
every street, everything I touched—
the light always ahead,
the darkness, just softly behind
—doubts, questions, thoughts—
light, enlightening the dark words
of my mind and mouth.

And when the darkness caught up,  
and I watched my parents fall behind,
my body/smile down-turn to groan
and my thoughts and words
turn to memories— I realized how
the past was always near and how
grief turned everything to light.

i'm innocent!
no virtue spent
on fake affection from a gent

and i won't laugh
at stupid jokes
for vain attention from a bloke

you couldn't pay
for me to lie
for cheap comfort from a guy

but every now
and then, again
my path is crossed by finer men

and if i find
for me to mind
a soul to which my soul can bind

then bound to him
my heart will be,
with my virtue, for him for free

i'll love him so
but here's the thing
it will still cost a wedding ring!

When life is out of order and things just don't make sense
When I'm left out in the dark and the cold and I'm in suspense
Everywhere I turn I am closed in by walls on every side
There is nowhere I can run and nowhere I can hide
If life was a car, I'd be careening out of control
If life was a gamble, I'd have one foot in the hole
When my life is chaos and disorder
Of sanity and insanity, I'm hanging on the border
I would be lost if I didn't know who was in command
I would be lost if I didn't recognize the good that He had planned
So, Jesus, take the wheel and turn this car around
Take my feet and place them back on solid ground
I know I should trust you: this has happened before
But doubt creeps in and I hold back, afraid once more
I like feeling like I'm in control even though I'm not
It terrifies me that, for certain things, I have blind spots
I want to channel this love inside, but I go about it all wrong
It leaves me feeling emptier, it never satisfies for long
I won't find the answer where I've been looking until now
I'll only find the answer when I finally allow
You to take control over me entirely
To give you all I am and have and ask you to take over
To fill me with the joy, the passion, the pleasure
Help me live a life in purity and truth
Until the day you say here is the one I made for you
Jesus, command my thoughts, conform my will
Satisfy me daily so I can have my fill
Take me past my blindness so I can more clearly see
How perfect your plan and how great your love for me
When I give up my control and truly surrender
I am freed from the grip of that wily pretender
I call upon your grace and strength as I struggle day by day
To walk with you in faithfulness and let you lead the way

Power is maintained

with traps, purity exists --


in a prison cell.

Let me wash myself in the current of your gentle waters,
Where the caress of your wave’s cleanses not just my skin,
But the very essence of who I am, leaving me reborn.
Let me drink deeply from the fountain of your love,
Each drop a sweet elixir that quenches a thirst of my soul,
Pour me till it fills the emptiness within me,
Leaving me to drown in the endless ocean of your love.

Let me gaze in the garden you’ve nourished with your grace,
Wandering through fields where flowers bloom in your name,
Their petals soft as your whisper,
Their fragrance a memory of your embrace.
Each leaf trembles like my heart when I’m near you,
A delicate dance, swayed by the gentleness of your breath.

Let your waters be the salve to my hidden wounds,
Healing what time and tears have left behind,
A soothing touch that mends the fractures of my past.
Let your waves rise not in anger, but in tender embrace,
Washing away the doubts that cloud my mind,
Leaving only the clarity of your love’s light.

Let your water be easy on me,
If your love must surge like a powerful tsunami,
Let it sweep away the old and usher in the new,
Breaking down walls I’ve built in fear,
Only to rebuild me stronger, closer to you.
Carry me on your tides to distant shores,
Where we can build and live out our dreams,
A place where every sunset is a promise,
And every sunrise, a renewal of the vows we’ve made in our hearts.

Let me sail upon your waters,
Guided by the stars reflected in your eyes,
To an island where milk and honey flow,
A paradise sculpted by the tides of your love,
A sanctuary where my heart finds its eternal home,
In the depths of your unwavering devotion.

When we as loveless humans failed,
With hate in every word exhaled
We turned and let our gods all crash,
we turned our children into ash.
.
And from out the ashes crawled
A thousand demons, wide and tall
Roiling mud and blood and stench
Tore out from groaning wound-like trench
.
And then down from the sun there flew
(not too many nor too few)
A band of angels, a golden choir
Singing songs of purging fire
.
And at the end of battle-day
In the fields of war there lay
No liars, beggars, thiefs or knaves
But a thousand crying naked babes

You can explain trigonometry to a zebra,
You can blab till blue in the cheeks,
But that doesn’t at all determine,
Whether a zebra will learn trigonometry.

A piece of irony:
We expect Zebras to be black and white,
Because their appearance says so,
But what about their feelings,
Who they are as Zebras?

Luscious, rare, and totally majestic,
But most of all,
Slept on…
Like most beautiful things, a pity indeed,
But that’s nature.

You find yourself mesmerized by them,
Yet you never truly grasp their beauty.
I ponder one small thought:
What do we really know about zebras?

We know what we are told,
We know what we see,
We know what we read,
But somehow,
These zebras,
They just… unapologetically exist,
In ways that never remain consistent.

Lions hunt zebras,
and rip them a part,
Because lions assume that these zebras,
Are merely the inferior species,
Ready to be preyed upon,
Simply because they’re less dominant,
In a world of carnivorous predators.

I was molded by his own hand
sculpted to perfection and eager to please
who else other than my husband
for without Adam, there is no Eve

at least, that was before he slithered into our perfect life
pounding our perfect garden into the ground with his slick feet
conniving and a brute,
he convinced me to take a bite
and share my fruit with man
for what is mine is his
my knowledge is his

I am his

together we ate
snacking and licking our fingers with glee
wiping the secretions of the fruit of mankind
against the tree we tore it from

until our Paradise's pastures declined
the wildflowers overtrodded with weeds
the singing waterfall vanished
only to be replaced by an evil, magmatic spout

and our tree,
our once bountiful, glorious, fruitful tree
decayed from the inside out

Adam's burning glare rotted my fruit and my seeds
until they and I dropped to the burning embers on the ground
like nicks off of a pebble that was thrown too hard
or like hairs from the back of a matted mother cat
that has spent far too many heatless winters hunting
for a different life,
for any life

with no more than a curse from Him,
I became the failed experiment of humanity
tossed into God's own graveyard
left to rot with my stolen seed