It's all fun and games until u get stuck
With ur future, bare, trapped by lady luck
And the Russians, as u bleed water slow.
How low can you go?

It's all fun and games until friends become ur end.
With my end in ICU, I C's to follow U
trends.
All alone the end seems full of sorrow.
How low can you go?

It's all fun and games until u realise
That it's the one in the mirror who you truly despise
Changes on changes but ur still broke.
How low can you go?

It's all fun and games until you disappoint
The only thing you passed was a ******* joint
1 pull, 2 pull, hold in blow
How low can you ******* go?

It's all fun and games until you fail
Making mistakes like you're just a day old
Excuses the same old "I didn't know"
How low can you go?

It's all fun and games until you go psychotic
Actions and movements start to seem robotic
When you say it nobody seems to understand though.
How low can you go?

It's all fun and games until you free your mind
From the bliss in ignorance you will find
Frost bite from ignorance like a blissard of snow.
How low can you go?

It's all fun and games until you can't pay the bills
It feels like never-ending steep hills.
Sleep pills make these feels go
How low can you go?

gaslit streams of dreams
and now you're psychedelic
soaking in highs and higher you're
throwing me over the bridge
and under a bus but
     >is that a bucatti?
and im telling you
     >no, its just another dead thing
and that seems to catch your blown eyes for a moment
because you smile at me
as if I can't already see the phosphenes dancing behind your gaze but
not before you say
     >what if we could make it one?
and now i'm smiling too because
     >who's to stop us?
the night seemed impossible and
unfortunately, we were still awake.

Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive /

this **** is impressive / Got ghosts in my mind, but I’ll be addressin’ / This **** in my head that’s got me depressed / Workin’ my hardest, trying my best / tryna escape, can't get out of bed / Word on the street is I’m losing my head / Fight me, I dare you / C’mon go ahead / I’ve been sittin on diamonds under my bed / Stole a whole paycheck and left that boy dead

Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Depressive Depressive / Manic Depressive,

this **** is impressive / Tryna escape, can’t get out of bed / Listen to these voices inside my head: Blood and it’s spilling out of my veins / Onto the bed sheets / Leaving red stains / Can’t help but wonder / If maybe this pain / Will just go away if I bleed down the drain

Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Depressive Depressive /

Ah, ****. I just missed my train.
Whatever, I’ll come back and ride it again

Manic, Depressive /

A little obsessive / Standing on rooftops wearing my messes / Know I could jump / Know that it’s reckless / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Depressive Depressive Depressive Depressive / Took all my pills, Why am I stressin? / Can’t even look at my ******* reflection / Had all my meds / Why’m I still crying? / Doesn’t the world see that I’m dying? / Can’t help but feeling, there’s no denying / Hate that I’m worthless / Hate that I’m crying / I prolly need help but I’d rather be flying /

/ I prolly need help but I’d rather be flying /

Manic Depressive / I’m on top of the world / Just earlier today, I met this cute girl / And maybe she loves me, maybe she don’t / I want her to know that --- love her? I won’t / Manic Depressive / I’m crying I hate it / I saw the sunrise but I’m really debating / What I will say in my last moments / Goodbye to God and Hello to Satan /


Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Manic- It’s come down to this / Why I’ve been waiting, / It’s come down to this / Why I’ve been waiting / right now it’s Game Day / No hesitating

/ I prolly need help but I’d rather be flying /

Here comes the train, no more delaying / shaking the rails / standing between / Heaven and Hell / and then someone yelled -

Fell out of the way / at the sound of the horn / surrounded by dust, coughing a storm /
Look back at the tracks, see only fear / I’m a ******* coward / Can’t believe I’m still here

Manic Depressive / Depressive / Depressive: Now I’m just sinking / Back into bed / Can’t shut off these voices inside my head / I’m shaking, I’m screaming: Why Aren’t I Dead?

Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Now I’m regressing: / Found some guy, says that I’m cute / Don’t want what he’s got but I guess this will do / He looks at me like / Maybe I’ve got a clue / But really I don’t and I know it won’t last / I’m just reliving my painful past / I’m hoping he’ll take me somewhere away - away from my body, away from my brain / but all that he does is add to my pain / he calls me his Kitten / Says I’m so great / I’m wondering if maybe I made a mistake

Manic, Depressive / Massive attack / I’ve gotten to this place / Where I’ve come detached / Nothing makes sense / nothing is fact / I’m half locked away / Just shut the latch

/ Manic, Depressive / This **** is Impressive / Manic, Depressive / Just shut the latch
Manic, Depressive / I can’t even speak / Manic, Depressive / but I know I’m not weak

I prolly need help but I’d rather be flying

Delusional conclusions
Fulfilled by hallucinations.
Chasing the shadows
Of your internal conflicts
Tricked by your own brain
That everyone is playing the game
Called your life,
Feeling as if you were going insane,
Not wanting to blame- no, believe-
Your own family
Has turned against you,
But the voice in your head
Keeps shouting,
Telling you your own kids want you dead
And you fed into your own demons
Because it's hard no to drown when
You're in a large body of shark infested water,
No matter how hard you fight to survive.

It's hanging in the air, the piece of you, above the hole in the carpet.
     The hole that was burned there out of anger. Contained by the voice in the back of your mind that pleaded to not allow the fire to spread. The smoke entered through your nose and when it was exhaled, took out of you something you don't remember you lost.
     Adolescent dementia is your diagnosis. You ebb and flow emotions that correlate little to the situations around you. Your eyes refract the scene around you and interprets it as inverted and skewed. You have an ocean in your mind. Stirred by the restlessness of the moon, your tides find a way to hurt you. Water crashes against the back of your eyes until you finally spring a leak.
     You're in math class.
     Pull yourself together.
     You love to walk, because the sloshing in your head now seems to be the fault of your arms gently swaying at your sides. You get lost a lot, no sense of direction. People wonder why you always hit the edges of the desks when you pass. They think you're high. Your bloodshot eyes betray you. You look down when you walk with a destination in mind. Any distraction magnetically pulls you towards it. You reel back and cast your eyes far into the scene of which you stare. Anything around you is now null. You are at two places at once. No. You've simply left your physical body to wonder a minute, you are tethered to yourself by the notion that you have no time to waste gazing listlessly-
     "Get out of the street little girl! Who holds your body captive?! Why are you blind to see oncoming traffic?!"
     You were wondering what it looked like to see a car moving towards you. You proceed home. There is calming music in your ears. You view the world in time with your pace, which is in time with the song. You step and the earth underneath your foot thanks you. It says no one has stepped there before. You're the first the conquer that patch of land.
     You hear this in your head.
     The song's instrumental cacophony ensues to interrupt your acquisition. The world as you see it dissolves into a blur of colors so vivid, you do not know their name. Its transported you far from the road home. You see smoke. It looks like pure light but it behaves like the noxious admittance from your mother's cigarette. You reach out your hand to manipulate it around your fingers.
     It's wet.
     You're outside your house now. Two steps away from your carport. You stand in pouring rain. Water is slipping off the roof onto your outstretched hand. You think for a moment that you do not want to go inside.
     You lock the door behind you as you enter.

You're sorry and it pains you to say.
     You've found solace in other people's pain. Your shoulders were made to bear weight. You've only gotten weaker due to your training of literally everything other than yourself. They can't see your fatigue, after all you're the life of the party. You don't know this, but you're their gravity. You've saved them, and everyone but you can see.
     You are a broken kingpin. You live in what's imaginary. Chess pieces to your command, instead a sacrificed king. You don't dream because that's selfish. You fell in love by circumstance. You don't think you deserve this, you think you're worthless. So do those songs that scream the same sentiment- good thing you're eclectic.
     Intermediate stage of life and you believe you understand the end. Peer into their future, pity their misfortune, manifest your worth in their misguided action.
     "No, you need to do this."
     Show them how. They don't listen. Revert again, lend a hand, upon seeing their inept expressions. You suggest to restart another fictional world you can all escape in. The prophet dictates another prediction: "We'll be here again."

I dilute the psychosis in a jar, pour it up the drain of insanity's shop and pile them up in mania's bar
****** leaked through the rail, bleeding faces paint him red
He beat his wife with a deranged face, they found her with a baby dead

You come a little closer, close your eyes, look into my cackling mind
I see legs and ugly faces, stare in the mirror
You're so ******* jaded
A binge goes by with the addition at your paces in a still position waiting on another ticket, ******* wisdom, ******* visions, ******* liver, spleen, ideal
Can You Spare a pain pill
It's raining
for another elevator while I'm raising
But I know something that you don't though

Paging Dr. Jekyll ,
he’s gotten lose again.
No, no casualties yet,
just a long trail of sin.

Yes, we understand,
control’s not the issue.
I think it’s time for drastic measures,
yes, you know what to do.

What do you mean,
he’s part of your mind?
It doesn’t matter at this point,
he’s too dangerous alive.

**** him dear friend,
or the blood’s on your hands.
He’s hurting people,
and that simply won’t stand.

He’s a monster, a freak,
you’re much better off.
There will be side affects,
but nothing’s gained without loss.

Hello? Dr. Jekyll?
Are you there? Is it done?
Oh God Dr. Jekyll,
what have you done?