All I ever waited for
I always waited in vain

Nothing I desired
Was meant to be in the end
Meant to be mine

Is there something wrong with me?

Nothing and no one
Ever could comfort my burning soul

I learned to live with it
It belongs to me, I accept it

Though some nights I wonder
How it would be
To be listened to and understood
To be comforted and held

Like rain
So sad and yet so beautiful

A gloomy day
Wrapped up in endless hope
An endless disappointment

Still, I pray
My voice doesn´t even shake anymore
It feels like everything is ignoring my existence

Fate
Oh what hate I felt towards you
Ever since I can remember
I tried to love you
But I doubt you wanted me to

A month of success
But for who?

My name seems to be missing
On every single list
Like I am outside the circle

Maybe it should make me proud
Maybe I should cry
Or laugh

But all I can think of is silence

Hour after hour, day after day I sit here and try to pray, my conscious won't let go of all this ****** pain, all this hate keeps building up.my life as it once was has somehow escaped, I dread the agony, yet there's so much more to come, my soul is lost in all my sorrows ill go to sleep tonight hoping to see tomorrow, if my body awakens from this dreadful rest ill go through this day praying its the start of my new beginning.

Oh how wicked is my sin bent heart
Daily should it be struck through with a dart
For when it is not crucified it does dart
To the sin, for which my savior was pierced through the heart!

Oh let me not be so fickle my Lord
Let me ever stumble backward
For yet a little slumber I can not afford
Else my poverty shall be the reward

Let it not be I who blasphemy’s by doing that which my Savior
did died for
You have given me a way therefore
help me walk by the strength which is yours
Oh this prayer do not ignore!

So, let I pray thee, your servant never slumber
Let me not rest from good labor
Rather provoke me, as a good father to your work evermore
If weary I shall rest in thee

Every day help me put to death the pride that be sets me
It is I who doth fight against my self!
I surrender it to you my farther!
Give the victory as you have promised

Not for my glory!
For I know it is not on my own that I even have this desire
But so others might see your glory reflected in this shattered mirror!
Then they shall glorify you!
And all magnification shall be yours!

Oh my God so let it be!

the violence brewing inside me boils and catalyzes the birth of malice,
from my womb of darkness;
i can not feel the pain anymore.
my heart in chaos.
my consciousness slipping away from me.
i pray to be born again:
no longer human,
no longer who i am.

I've tried to avoid you last night, looking for a silver lining, but all I could find was just a neon moon and under its halo, your shadow crossed mine again.

They sang their song in unison, a lullaby of darkness, and all I wanted was to leave, for I have already prayed enough to the mirror version of you hoping, he might have mercy on me.

But then and there, under the neon moon, its light turned against, and all at once, I wanted to stay; not just fall in love again but to sojourn on the rise.