I drink, I cry, I scream.

I dwell in the past,
I beg for second chances,
I refuse to move on.

I desire to feel
sad
hurt
pain.

Because it feels that only when
I am hurting,
You would take a look at me.

But I know this won't work.
It's a pity that it's just pity,
I don't want pity.

Don't get angry if a balloon
blows up in your face

Remember,

you are the one who blew it till it popped

I let my ignorance slice into my pride,  and my will power drip out of it .
Never enough courage to let my ignorance slice deeper with its full potential.  
My pride is scarred with the pathetic attempt to end all misery.  
In my rage of a moment I wish for everything to disappear.  
I drown myself in my own pity just for another day to cowardly use my ignorance as a weapon once more.


I have found that this day I feel particularly able to release all of my hurt at once.  
With this ignorance I have built up over years,
I put it at the base of my pride and I stab in and slice vertically.
I am now bleeding out all of the hurt,  and pain I've had.
Soon there will be no pride to cut,  no ignorance to use,  no hurt to feel,  no will power to lack.
*Soon it will all be over

I pity those who
will never know
the immense pain
that love will bring