There is a chord
In your song
That makes me cry
It touches me
So deep...
I wish
It was
For me

I want to be anything but me
Not always obviously
But often definitely
Specifically when that pesky negativity
Has a death grip on my personality
And brings out the ugly

©2024

I do not like it, Sam I Am, I do not like the quite
I fear it when it's silent
Simply keeping the mind busy elevates the possibility the personalities wont riot
As a particular thought client takes centerstage the voices get defiant
Internal chaos runs rampant, so prevalent one finds oneself reliant
Negativity plays with anxiety out in the open in spite of the velvet lined casket
The soil tilled from conception permitted the growth of this poisonous plant
That sprung up out of nowhere, ill prepared, on an almost alien planet
Body longevity becomes insignificant when the need shifts to a mind and soul transplant
Whether a desired life or one deserved, you can't keep it like a secret, people are going to catch a peek of it
The remedy is absolute though illicit, hell, what isn't
The catch?
It's permanent

©2024

You say quote, "it should be easy to see" that you love me
Promising me, biyearly, that I'm your one and only
Your heart was supposedly given to me willingly
But you kept the key
So I wait endlessly for you outside the entry
I pine for you in spite of me
Yet you waste no desire on me
Avoiding anything resembling intimacy
Can't even toss me something phony
Hiding that half of your beauty from me
While forcing me to ignore that better half of me
Both instantly and,
It's occurred to me more recently,
Possibly for all eternity
Won't ******* like I'm somehow below me
I faintly remember you'd at least pity fuuck me
Now I seem to turn you off completely
Acting like you need to do absolutely nothing sexually
Literally refusing to be seen hand in hand in public with me
You constantly go out of your way to physically avoid me
The reason?
Because you know you've hooked me already
Leaving you to instantly cancel the pageantry
But is it to much to ask to willingly snuggle up close to me?
Hell...it must be...
Because you're giving off that type of energy
While ******* the entirety of my passion till my souls empty
Not s single thought on how this might affect me
You've more that just damaged me
But go ahead and ignore what's going to finally break me completely
No, really
Step back through the stage curtain and curtsy, you've beat me

©2024

Pain affects immediately, sticks around indefinitely
The headcount is up to sixty over infinity
And right around the corner is another three
Meaning it's always in the vicinity
And every type lands just a smidge differently
This feels like what I might imagine to be purgatory
Woe is me
My future will be winless if I'm too stay in the business of learning from my history
The bell to start the fight indicates the end, just prematurely
Loosing in a victory, contradictory absurdity mentioned literally,
All ***** nilly
As I'm sure you can imagine, maybe even probably agree
Somethin' like that is bound to change the complexion of a personality
I know personally
I'd hoped good days would roll in gradually, at least eventually
Instead they taunt relentlessly
It's with a heavy, often broken, heart I go in and defend half heartedly
Enjoying the savagery, a familiarity that relaxes me
But positions me next to the poisons amidst the pageantry
In the direct line of sight of my worst enemy
Me looking back at me directly
"You're talking to yourself again Jeremy..."
...shiit, sorry

©2024