privacy is really a thing of history
nowadays it's all up there like a gallery
even when i'm alone there's always eyes
it's exhausting putting on such a disguise
when the lights are off and blinds are closed
it would be fine to be blind i suppose
glancing at my back like there's a ghost
staring at every single tweet i post
no such thing as being invisible
still just a student dodging the principal
some of you might say i'm just paranoid
nah i'm just worried about my word choice
twisted voices can make terrible noises
life is a bumpy ride and i'm getting nauseous

I’m starting to think I shouldn’t be left alone. My thoughts drip too deep to the blackness below. Am I really alive or just existing? My view is consistently, painfully twisting. Late at night too anxious to sleep, unwelcoming images start to creep.

I wonder why I feel this thick weight sinking my joy into a sea of fear.
Pending destruction is near, creeping behind my calmed motion.
I fear


that if i love, it'll be stripped away
Drowned
Distorted
Left to decay.

I don't think I can feel that again...

So maybe that's why I feel so anxious.

Love too hard and it breaks the foundation, love too soft and it floats away...

I can't take this, is what I want to say...but I know I might not ever get my way.

I love hard, crush hard, feel hard emotions...a battle in my head filled with so much commotion.

A battle, a war between 100 of me, how...

I wonder why I feel so sick when I talk to him now.

The ship is strong, but the sailer is scared of waves

Be still my beating heart, for I need you to behave.

I am naturally very paranoid.  
Little things scare me and make me fear for my life.  
I live life unreasonably.  And always on edge.  
A twig snap in the dark or maybe a shadow moves.  
I will think I am being followed or stalked.  
What is unknown is the scariest of all
I am naturally paranoid and I hate always living on the
Edge.

I return once again
To my trusty pen
To pent out the storms
That brew deep within

But this time I find
I haven’t a rhyme
To execute my words
And represent my mind

So now there’s a worry
And some need to hurry
To prove that I feel
But feelings are blurry

Instead, I panic
My writing’s quite manic
Forgetting the real world
And all that’s pragmatic

Artificial hinderance
To prevent the ignorance
Is something i brew
My mind is carnivorous

It was around midnight
I was alone with you
You filled my blood with alcohol
Little did I know what you knew

You wouldn’t keep your hands off me
As if I didn’t have a choice
Forcing yourself onto me
I couldn’t seem to find my voice

I tried to push you away
As you pulled me closer to you
I told you to leave
But you stuck to me like glue

The next morning
I tried to ***** up all of my tears
But your hands were tattoos on my body
And the look in your eyes became my biggest fears

You see, I was a steady moving girl
And you broke me in two
Now I’m chained to my fear
And I can’t seem to break through

You stole my freedom
And left me with paranoia and deep cuts
I want to tell the whole wide world
But you know I'll never have the guts

You've no idea how much damage you did
Just the scent of that night haunts me
I have nowhere to turn
There’s no place to where I can flee

I can't seem to escape you
If only I could count to three
I have just one question for you
Why me?