I wonder why I feel this thick weight sinking my joy into a sea of fear.
Pending destruction is near, creeping behind my calmed motion.
I fear


that if i love, it'll be stripped away
Drowned
Distorted
Left to decay.

I don't think I can feel that again...

So maybe that's why I feel so anxious.

Love too hard and it breaks the foundation, love too soft and it floats away...

I can't take this, is what I want to say...but I know I might not ever get my way.

I love hard, crush hard, feel hard emotions...a battle in my head filled with so much commotion.

A battle, a war between 100 of me, how...

I wonder why I feel so sick when I talk to him now.

The ship is strong, but the sailer is scared of waves

Be still my beating heart, for I need you to behave.

I am naturally very paranoid.  
Little things scare me and make me fear for my life.  
I live life unreasonably.  And always on edge.  
A twig snap in the dark or maybe a shadow moves.  
I will think I am being followed or stalked.  
What is unknown is the scariest of all
I am naturally paranoid and I hate always living on the
Edge.

I return once again
To my trusty pen
To pent out the storms
That brew deep within

But this time I find
I haven’t a rhyme
To execute my words
And represent my mind

So now there’s a worry
And some need to hurry
To prove that I feel
But feelings are blurry

Instead, I panic
My writing’s quite manic
Forgetting the real world
And all that’s pragmatic

Artificial hinderance
To prevent the ignorance
Is something i brew
My mind is carnivorous

It was around midnight
I was alone with you
You filled my blood with alcohol
Little did I know what you knew

You wouldn’t keep your hands off me
As if I didn’t have a choice
Forcing yourself onto me
I couldn’t seem to find my voice

I tried to push you away
As you pulled me closer to you
I told you to leave
But you stuck to me like glue

The next morning
I tried to ***** up all of my tears
But your hands were tattoos on my body
And the look in your eyes became my biggest fears

You see, I was a steady moving girl
And you broke me in two
Now I’m chained to my fear
And I can’t seem to break through

You stole my freedom
And left me with paranoia and deep cuts
I want to tell the whole wide world
But you know I'll never have the guts

You've no idea how much damage you did
Just the scent of that night haunts me
I have nowhere to turn
There’s no place to where I can flee

I can't seem to escape you
If only I could count to three
I have just one question for you
Why me?

I am walking with my eyes closed
in my hand, I am carrying a lampost
I can hear
I can't see
who you are
who you've been
I need some confirmation from you

You try so hard to speak but
I'm afraid, what you stole where my words
is this true
is that wrong
can I breathe
in a song
I need some confirmation from you

I open my arms too far
in the cold, I get sick and bear scars
this is it
this is pain
I am real
I'm to blame
I need some confirmation from you

I have a crush on death
cuz everyone loves to say they have a mentally ill friend
until we actually have symptoms they don't understand
its like
ohh you're sad all the time you poor thing
wow you're so paranoid and believe irrational things
well now you're just being difficult