I am walking with my eyes closed
in my hand, I am carrying a lampost
I can hear
I can't see
who you are
who you've been
I need some confirmation from you

You try so hard to speak but
I'm afraid, what you stole where my words
is this true
is that wrong
can I breathe
in a song
I need some confirmation from you

I open my arms too far
in the cold, I get sick and bear scars
this is it
this is pain
I am real
I'm to blame
I need some confirmation from you

I have a crush on death
cuz everyone loves to say they have a mentally ill friend
until we actually have symptoms they don't understand
its like
ohh you're sad all the time you poor thing
wow you're so paranoid and believe irrational things
well now you're just being difficult

they're here, i said, we've gotta run fast.
who's here, he said.
they're here to get me, i said, don't you hear them?
hear what, he said.
the voices, i said, the scraping on the wall, getting closer and closer and closer and closer... they're going to hurt me, they're going to.
you're okay, he said
they're hurting me, i said, they're here, right here, it hurts.
they're not, he said, it's all in your head.
deep breath, deep breath, now open your eyes.

It's a dark night
Purple veins are conquering the sky
The haunting thunder is surrounding me


Teardrops are falling from the sky
rolling down my icy cheeks
The cry of piercing wind is petrifying
slithering in one ear
crawling out the other


I kept inhaling
Not knowing which breath would be my last
My head light
My vision faint
The last bits of life were bleeding out of me.

I feel the water against my skin
I know when I am almost drowning
I can sense the snakes poking my atmosphere
As I draw my knife.


One of my eyes pinned
The other one the watch
Because I am naked
And nothing will hurt me again.

I was a wobbly little girl
Tortured by my devil
She chased and chased me
Hunting me down


Criticised my success
Laughed at my victory
Shortened my smiles
Prevented my laughs


My first tear
My only snap
My loudest sob
The whitest flag


I cried for help
there she was
I called emergency
there she was
I raced to school
there she was
I ran back home
there she was


Darkness flowed through her veins
Jealousy kept her running
Black magic empowered her
Sorcery concealed the naked


my head ******
my hands tied
my face torn
my vision blurred


Now she shoots and shoots
and shoots right through me
She strikes and strikes
and strikes up my smile


Protected by my love
I realised right then
I tried to die once
Never again.

I breathe
Still, the fear lingers
As my blood runs cold
Was it from above
Or beneath the very floor where I plant my foot

Will they peak beside me
The moment I catch my eye
Is my family still there
Will they be able to hear me cry

This is the fear I live
The sheer horror
Or discrete you may dismay
My mind unravels
And elsewhere takes away

And I wait
And wait
In utter loneliness
Perhaps I am not alone
They’re there

I feel them watching me
They know I fear
They feed off it
And I wait for them to show
Because I know they are near

Soviet Jet
Soviets are like mosquitoes
Always there in the environment
There’s no escape from them
They get in your head

So they rule you remorsessly
By power of paranoia
A bite is a bullet
An infection is a bomb

A disease is a nuclear blast
Mosquitoes are Russians
Russians are mosquitoes
Waiting to be eradicated

By a superior power
Always ready for war
Endless circle of deceit
Mosquito flight round you

Looking for an opening
To attack you
While you sleep
The Russian way

Keep you off guard
Then get you
But not if we strike
And drain their pond

Spray them with insecticide
So they never breed again
No more Novichok
Or nukes or bio weapons

Finally we are safe
Except from our own
******* PARANOIA!!!