Mirror reflection of my ‘Picture Perfection’,
Is making mistakes, BUT learning the Lesson,
Being honest with myself, that's 100% accepting,
There I will see clearly, my life’s real demon,

& Without Fear In Me, I claim back my Freedom,

the flame fell to me
in the evenings of starless skies
sturdy as a pine
red as my blood
(you are unbreaking
quaking)
my mother whispered nothings
into my ear
and i was lulled asleep in a pool.
the air quivers around me
i am numb to a faint
a sparkle dances in the water
i am afraid of it -
but i will swim to shore.

the flame fell to me
and i hold it behind my eyes.
hail Amphitrite -
the flame fell to me,
charming in the seas
and i will not taste the salt,

i will drink the fire -
as if the sun fell in the sea one day.

When worries creep into my mind,
I am trying to explore them like territories
Plot them on a map and create logical lines.

I am trying to not let them come to life:
Giving them teeth, giving them intuition,
Endlessly gnawing at my insides.

No wrongs to right, no lost love to mourn,
I must concoct an awful lot of falsified accounts.
But why should I neglect my life,
For self-burnt homes and hidden doubts?

It feels really good to walk on fire

Doesn’t mean I am a god or have any superpower
Doesn’t mean I can do or accomplish anything I want

It does mean that in life I will face tasks that I really don’t want to do but that I must execute to get to where I need to go

It does mean that I know how to execute in spite of my fear

It does mean that I will execute through my fear

It feels really good to walk on fire

Someone once compared me to a rose
What a flower to be
Blooming only in the best conditions
With perfect tending
And tedious attentions
Beautiful, but thorny
Admirable, but painful to hold
Offering their beauty only
To those so fortunate
As to be in the garden
No
I'm not a rose
I'm the wildflower that
Offers beauty to all around it
Grows wherever it lands
Withstands the storm
And finds the sun

An island in the sea
Is where I longed to be
Blissfully safe and sound
Without a single soul around

But what I discovered
Was that venturing from that place
Was the key I needed to uncover
So I had to begin at a new pace

An island in the sea
Is no longer for me
I assembled a vessel and sailed away
On the waves that I once had to wrestle
And so now I can certainly say
Onward to a much better day

Fight or flight
That was my plight
Distracted driver
Temporarily took my power
Praying for sleep
Counting the sheep
It’s like treading water in the deep
Can I keep pushing through?
Not sure quite what to do

Visions of chrome grills
Drenched with chills
Flashback night
Nightmare day
Will this ever go away?

EMDR
Got back to driving the car
Taking buspar
Have I come that far?

One foot in front of the other
A daily mantra loaned by my brother
It’s important to only focus on today
It’s all we have, wise people say

Life is an ongoing journey
So very grateful for His mercy
I continue to battle and refuse to cower
After all, I’ve learned I’m no fragile flower