i don’t want to lie
even if im embarrassed
im beginning to see the truth
it resides in your eyes

the reflection of myself
it’s beginning to lose power over me
i can’t tell you why exactly

the power you’ve given me
it seems to have rusted your soul
oh what id give
to go back and change that

my soul is drowning
grasping on to what it can to float
freezing slowly as it inches closer to the edge
to shield me from the wrongs within myself

your warmth protects me
it exposes the purity from inside
but how i wish i could protect you too

sometimes,
i hate the world
for still going on,
like it has
completely forgotten
about what happened to us.


Like it has
completely forgotten  
about people like us.

and you're many hundreds of miles away,
and it's 2 am,
no more work, it's dark, and she couldn't avoid the talk,
you called from the payphone nearby hotel,
the clock ticking loudly as a complement to sad silences,
and she's the missing link from your life,
and you're making it clear that she was,
but you just wanted to know
what you have missed,
and once you learned it, you both knew it was over,
and we learned to say goodbye,
and she's, however still missing
and you wouldn't be waiting on the other side

but no darling,
motels get me down and i don't want to shed tears
behind the walls on clean sheets slept on by many,
you don't want to hear my heart creaking,
and you certainly don't want to understand it

In Ashleigh's book, I now write
& provide her with this true insight:
We have yet to be friends- how we're connected despite,
all of the habits we-

Choose; Still,

to diminish the light.