Its in my blood
In my veins
In my brain

Feels good to feel insane
Feels good to feel laughter
For once.

Its in my heart.

Those pills i once popped.
Those who i once trusted,betrayed.
Couldn't pay em bills
Couldn't feel sane again.
Didn't wanna repeat the same mistakes as those who couldn't get home before 1.

Mama told me i wasnt made for that life. I begged to differ.
Now im indifferent.
Couldn't tell who was better.
The society i was being dragged into or the family who said they would stay.

Liquor drowned me
People crowded me
Knowledge left my senses.

color isn't just the sky, i know that.
the rain, the snow, and all the blues
along with the different hues that
make me
(and you)

color isn't just all niceness, although
there's many a nice (and a vice) that
throws its body behind
its color, like (for instance) the deep dark red of
lust, or blood

color isn't just a thing that's there and with
its cosmic strength and chroma-power,
just sits upon your face as if saying
"i'm not actually here."

but,
then what? was it before
(i won't lie) my friends said that among
the many guys i've liked?
you are? a bit, uh,
kind of different?
different kind of...? it was a bit
awkward, they said
you need your own
spectrum? what?
they said,
they said,
they said...

you're
brown.

and hah...
of course you're brown, of course-- you're not
just brown, you're
very brown and definitely positively
brown and yes, you're
one of them, and of course! that matters, yes,
it matters that
you're one of
them.

(brown) (brown?) (brown.)

and of course i'm not brown, i'm just
very not brown, i'm very unlike you and
very yellow, definitely positively
yellow and you know what? of course
that matters. that i'm not one of
you and
rather, one of
them.

it's almost funny? how the sky
has always been very blue, the clouds
have always been definitely white, the grass
has always been positively green and yet
you? and you? you've definitely, positively
always been...

no,
you haven't.
always
been
brown.

but they said (i won't lie) to
open
my
eyes, and so
you know what?

i did.

There is a leak in my heart where you shoved your coarse fingers in so impertinently.
I exposed my soul for you, revealed my naked body for you to see,
but you watched and all you really saw were the parts that aroused your virility.

I gave you an ultimatum, but, to you, the rest of me was like the speed fines that you were never going to pay.
You devoured my dreams with a mouthful of empty promises and destroyed them,
now you're an epitome manliness...

and I?
A scarecrow in the clean eyes of anyone capable of accepting all my peculiarities.

You say that I left you,
but here I sit on the sidewalk, desolated.

I'm an outsider
I don't follow social norms.
But being an outsider has become the norm,
so am I...
normal?

(Critique number 1: of social norms in the 21st century)

To the point that our American social fabric has been stained by the original sin of slavery was a point President Abraham Lincoln hoped would be dealt with by the winning and reconciliation of those states who fought to secede during the Civil War; to that end, the Union was saved but equality was not to be had by all man, regardless of color, as well as woman, and progress would arrive in fits and starts.

Our founding fathers declared that "All men are created equal" yet many held salves which meant as they wrote of equality they held of the standards of disenfranchised persons; it took almost 100 years after the Civil War for the next great leap of civil discourse in equality leading to a series of legislative passages throughout the civil rights era to bring what appeared as true and final equality, and though none can doubt great leaps were made, the original sin of our nation - that of espousing that all men our created equal while looking the other way as these very men of principle held slaves to tend there homesteads - is a wonder of true blind-sight.

In 2007-2008 the nation held a hard fought race for the presidency, and swept in with great hope was Barack Hussein Obama, the nation's first African American president; and so it seemed the arch of History at last had bent straight and right; yet even as the nation and world celebrated, The Republican Party behind closed doors decided their mission was to make President Obama a one term president and to start a system of blatantly obstructing any measures President Obama put forth; thus the nation was divided into a rift not seen since and through the era of reconstruction immediately following the Civil War.

Through 2016-2017, the The nation had become more divided than ever and had grown weary of having dynastic leaders in the seat of the presidency specifically either a family member of the bushes or that of the Clintons and so they chose an outsider who had no respect or rule of thumb or moral compass which our founding fathers envisioned the president to have; in fact the role of the president was the least important position as far as they were concerned and his was to be a roll of functionary executive duty and no more yet through the 20th century Congress gave way and gave powers to the president which our founding fathers never intended, thus leaving us at the whims of a president who swims are sweet as easy as wheat in a breeze and with the Wii Congress not hook up holding its duty as a check against the executive branch we find ourselves in a position that the country is even more divided and the two leading parties which were never intended to exist in the first place now in charge of the fate of the nation.

If for no other reason that the executive currently in power is leading a wedge between our nation it is time we as a people stand up and demand that he the executive in charge on this the year 2017 be held up for impeachment on any number of charges of illegal improprieties he has already trampled upon and as laid out in the constitution; let this not be our new normal - a nation divided into a two party system our founding fathers warned against and never intended to take route - but just a blip in our continues march forward, to build a more perfect union, on the right side of history.

Human beings... we have a flaw.
Can't you see?
Wait no, you can't see.
Only the others can see.
Humans flaw is we strive to achieve others visions.
It starts when we are young.
Mom wants you to graduate school with good grades.
You go out graduate school with c average or higher.
God forbid you drop out.
Through out school you dress to satisfy the eyes of others.
You act as a member of society.
Do what is seen as normal.
Once my therapist educated me on social norms.
Who is one to decide these social norms though?
Who decides what is acceptable and what is not?

Is in the eye of the beholder
But it is only half true
From what I was taught in school
Beauty is both subjective and objective

The media though
Is manipulative
People's preferences, distorted
by its interferences
Oh boy, why are we such idiots

Having tons of insecurities
I know it's not your fault
Because the media's definition of beauty
Have left us here to rot

But **** them
Because the truth is
You don't need their acknowledgement
Nor their judgement

Conforming to meaningless norms
Are the doings of fools
Simply be real, my dear.

I am telling you the truth
Or maybe it's just me
what I'm trying to do

Accept, appreciate
And love the real me
Not the facade that you see