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Stages and Ages Nov 2014
It makes me a little nervous
To not know your name.
But I guess your face
Will always be engraved in my brain.
You were the boy with the football
With the fame in your eyes at 2am.
And that's where your life will begin
And mine will end
kt mccurdy Oct 2014
2-[[4-[(7-Chloro-4-quinolyl)amino]pentyl]ethylamino] ethanol sulfate

Sulfate- dry collision with salty white plaster, plaster walls, my plaster teeth in the palm of my plaster hand, the same palm you touched nervously with your fingertips, when your translucent skin showed we have the same blue veins, you with no love line. I’ve ran into walls, trees, dead ends, bursts of hail, but worst of all– you

Ethanol- black liquid gas,a nozzle in my car engine, fracked through my exhaust(ion) burn my esophagus like sweet ginger ale gin, double chin. I’m drunk, so I’m seeing double. Re/frac/tion.

Ethylamino- alcohol: a drizzle in a rainstorm, i can’t contain myself, exploding inside a glass bottle. a defective windshield wiper, reprocessing my words: “ethyl and coke tastes like cough syrup”, I say. either or, neither will help me.   ethyl as fuel is not safe to drink
ethyl as alcohol is not safe either. swirled away in a plastic whirl.

Pentyl- discovered in a collision of ultra violet light with argon, noble gas. overdose symptoms include convulsions (check), drowsiness (check), headache (check), difficulty breathing (check), vision problems, (check). But not for the reasons, or for the causes, I’ve listed.

Amino- building blocks to a withered corn husk of my body. 9 essential amino acids. Find them in your grocery store: egg whites, lysine in sunfish, cod, dolphinfish but please, no mercury. Maybe I have 1 left, maybe 2, after each labored breath entrapped by porcelain walls, cool on my forehead, warm on my hands, dampened dew on fingertips with pressure on my skin, sewer raindrops on my nose, now i’m so good (to you) I can upheave my 7 other amino acids on demand. No more dew on this fluorescent skin, I've always been too artificial to be compared to nature

Quinolyl- you are created by the removal of one hydrogen atom. I am created by the induction of two. This is how we are similar: exposed to light, we change. Your ancestry proceeds you, impurity in a chemical science, derivative of quinoline, which is a derivative of coal tar. you are an dye, a resin, parasites feed on your smell. I lust on your parts, **** out your solubility, desecrate your elements. I own you, don’t think you own me.

4- one milligram less than what disintegrates on the tongue's bitter perception, each night

Chloro- back stroke, breast stroke, my favorite is dead man’s float. inflamed skin, cracked elbows, an allergy

7- years since you’ve been with me, although I own you, you do not own me.

4- exponent of the previous, the total sum of pop art pills by night’s end. sometimes I forget.

2**- the number of techno-colored candies in the morning

A body is made up of chemicals
Hannah Oct 2014
Communication is the key
but my hands are shaking
as I start the ignition

-h.w.
Lora Cerdan Oct 2014
“Dialing your number
already makes me nervous
Please
Don’t answer my call
Your hello will be the death
of me”

ring. ring. ring.
x Oct 2014
you make me
a shaky caffeine
addict hands
trembling and
fingers playing
with each other
catching your
gaze and then
dropping it
again: how am
i awake if you
aren't around?
Zaynub Oct 2014
“How come you always stay in your room so much?” a little girl once asked me.
“Because I have anxiety, darling”
“Where is your anxiety?”
I pointed to my head. She nodded.
But that wasn’t entirely true.

I should’ve pointed
to my hands,
full of earthquakes and after shakes;
my arm,
blade rakes and skin breaks;
my smile,
nothing short of fake;
my whole body,
just one big ache.
earnoux Sep 2014
I'm scared
I'm terrified
Petrified.
It's such a constant
           feeling
                        now

Never in my life
      have I felt
      consumed by a
      feeling

My heart beats
      with fear

Each thud
Each dud
       dread.

Quietly it goes
       pumping this
       pain throughout
       my bones.

I am scared.
Zai K Sep 2014
I saw him today.
I wanted to speak so bad.
I wanted to hug him, kiss him, tell him that I missed him.
I wanted him to know I only wanted him, that everything about him made me weak inside......but my pride.
As much as I wanted to do all those things I didn't know how, where to start, I didn't know how to let this man know he played a heavy part in my
thoughts. That his warmth & embrace is all I think about and God I wanted to ask him did he feel the same.

But he said nothing.
I said nothing.
I just saw him.
Raquel Butler Sep 2014
It was something I never expected,
and island has become two,
the waters a nervous calm,
two flags waving proudly one in the same
yet the same become different,
The birds silently wait for the chirps of its old playmate,
waiting for something that doesn't seem to come,
so for now its on to the next,
on to find solace in an unexpected old,
or become one with an imperfect new.
It's not to late to prevent an end, it never is......
rook Sep 2014
just a whisper's distance away
close enough to touch
cold hands on warm cheeks, i pretend not to look
i keep on talking because i'm afraid that if it's too quiet, you could hear my thoughts

fingers tapping restlessly on hardwood surfaces
obscuring the percussion thumping in my chest
my stomach doesn't just flutter - it flies away
breathless

waiting
on the edge of a metal bench
running over the script i never quite follow
pretending i could ever have any semblance of confidence

my legs are shaking and the idea shatters, glass on the floor barely heard over the sound of my

nervous laughter.
amber and gold these are old
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