I am the rain
beating down
relentlessly
until the overflow.
Spilling out
drowning anything
and everything
that is calm.
With the rain
darkness lingers
resisting  
to be scattered.
Though the rain
is eager give up
the darkness is
endless.
I am the rain
and only the sun
can break up
these showers.

I stare at the water
eyes as wide as the oceans themselves --

Each set of waves entices me
like a lover reaching out her hand
beckoning from underneath
the crisp white duvet cover
to join her.

Come to me and let go.
Come to me and forget.

She is warm
and I feel safe in her presence
though I should feel
a numbing chill
deep in my chest.

Come to me and let go
Come to me and forget.

I reach for her hand
but instead am swept into a
quick
cold
kiss.

The water had stared back at me
ready to engulf this doe-eyed romantic

I'm repeating
in my head
                              I'm sorry
because
I don't believe  
I said it enough to you.

You had no idea
that when you slid
your hand in my pocket
you destroyed any control
I had to resist you.
Or did you?

I'm scared
I'm terrified
Petrified.
It's such a constant
           feeling
                        now

Never in my life
      have I felt
      consumed by a
      feeling

My heart beats
      with fear

Each thud
Each dud
       dread.

Quietly it goes
       pumping this
       pain throughout
       my bones.

I am scared.

In a moment far from reverie
I wondered
will the thought of you save me
or push me over the edge?

I sleep in a bed of lies
layer by layer
each word spoken with a sweet smile
creates more cushion

I rest next to exaggerations
they keep good company
of hyperbole and hubris
always with the kindest eyes

Your perfume lingers for days
trapped in my duvet of little fictions
because it is the only truth
you ever give to me.