I didn't wait long
for the milkman to arrive
but instead of milk he had
liquid cyanide
and I didn't know how to tell him
that I was all set with that
so I paid him, zipped my lips
and decided that was that.

Girl you've got me crazy
Heart racing and head hazy
With thoughts of "I love you"
Could you ever love me too

I want you to warm my soul
Please come make me whole
I want to warm your heart
Never let anything tear us apart

These are such silly feelings
That seem to fill my head
They send me reeling
Remind me of passionate words I've read

I only wish I was half as eloquent
Or brave enough to say
The words I know I really meant
Maybe the time will come one day

Until then I sit here and write
Amused by my own anxiety and nerves
It's just another late and lonely night
Sitting here wishing I could trace your curves

I don't know where it came from
Maybe it was the unusual warm air in November
Or maybe it was the need to be known
But at the mention of you
Or the faint glow of another window
I'm spiraling back into:
Blood drive river bank lace your fingers into my hips
Cold air nausea never even been kissed
But don't you know I want you more than ever
Don't you know I'd like to try?
But I'm only everyone's open arms
And you're their American icon
Strolling through winter wheat
Blond, strong and smirking at me
And I'm hiding in my skin
Insecure and inexperienced and I know exactly why
Petrified at the thought of another drive home alone
Tender at the thought of trusting
Be gentle with me
Only after I'm bruised deep blue
Walk home with me
Only after the lights are shot out and you've faded back to gray
I have no stomach to explain passion and no armor to field my family's questions
Just the burn of my chest under my thin jacket
And the warmth of your hand on my skin
And I met you at the blood drive and I let you under my skin
Deep red they bled me dry as I gave you all I had within
I'm alive but I'm weakened
And you put the color back in my cheeks
And you supported me all the way home
So maybe I spiraled into this
Maybe I'm still scared from the nights spent sleeping alone
But in the warm November air
I'll let you in
Spiraling again.

I thought I could swallow my fear,
But I guess you could taste it in my kiss.

I miss the girl that I once knew
The girl with hair blonder than dust
And cheeks rounder than apples

I miss the girl that I once knew
The girl with nerves of a wet napkin
And legs clumsier than spaghetti

I miss the girl I once knew
The girl who always did what she was told
And was always afraid to speak

I miss the girl I once knew,
That's all true.
But she grew up.
And I don't miss that little girl so much
Anymore.