Make The Bed

Today I made the bed
so it will invite me back in.

I cut the wood for winter,
stacked it against the house,

for Autumn will begin.

Today I listened to Her,
She told me what I'd missed.

I smiled at the arching sun
knowing where to go,

as if we could ever resist.

My body hums aloud,
I blow into my tea;

The fire sings it's song
As the bed calls out to me.

I'm in need.
My self doubt like a snowball
and it's picking up speed.

I'm in need.
I look like a flower
but I grow like a ****.

I'm in need.
My head trapped in a cage
and it must be freed.

I let the feeling in of loss spread in my chest like a devious seed.
Why do I do these things when they cause me to bleed?

If I just keep pushing
I will never succeed
I will reach too far down this road
Where it is too late to recede
Down into my throat
These false fixes i force feed

reassurance
support
love
honesty

What do I need?

food and water
   are a necessity

but love and happiness
   arent

Even with the vastness of things to acquire
Closeness and trust
Skin to skin
Soft thrusts
No indication of lust
Leave those assumptions in the dust
I desire a touch
That'll keep me feeling optimistic
Knowing it's a returned feeling
To let go of the stress I constantly have
Instead of lashing out
Let me make you sweat
And go all over the room
Hoping to make you finish soon
I care about that more then my own pleasure
I want to be proud of my work
Not only on paper
But with spreaded bed sheets and pillows on the floor
Bed cover coming off
And a spring with a shortened life span
I'll do the best I can
To keep that beautiful smile on your face
I want to be the reason you don't worry your place
With clothes, food and necessities
I can cope without the others if needed
But definitely not you
My one and only necessity
My whole destiny
To give you all my promises
That's the only way I'll ever feel content
My beautiful convent
Ready to commit to my Sunday service