Before the Autumn reaps, don’t you believe that tree’s leaves would enjoy knowing the feeling of reaching and holding another’s branches? All the while these trees cannot conceive of such things.


I like to envision the brain of a dandelion as it tenderly caresses the faces of other dandelions. Before the wind sweeps away with their heads spreading each one’s likeness across distant lands. I bet they’d hold on to one another, these seeds, to the seeds of their lovers hoping to exist together upon the reaches of greener grass.


It’s not unlike me to marvel at what a miracle consciousness is. How lucky we are to share it despite all of its pains. All the while these dandelions might never see their own likenesses the way I can divine myself reflected back in my child’s smiling eyes. It’s such a blessing to conceive of such things. -six pm

Your belly
Next to mine
Smooth and soft
It subtly moves
As I gently touch it
Caress it
With tender admiration
Innocent and sweet
I listen to them
Rejoice at the sight
Of it ever so slightly
flowing over the seam

My belly
Next to yours
I cringe, look away
Try to hide it
As it’s flawed
It’s Not flat,
Not nonexistent
I’m afraid
Of what they’ll say
Should they catch
A glimpse
Of its imperfections

Yet without mine
There’d be no yours
It’s my womb
That carried you
It gave you shelter
And protection
A space to ripen and prepare
It’s my belly
That gave life to you
And still I reprimand it
Demand that it be
What is expected

This tightness in my chest
I can barely explain
A closing in
A bursting open
Fear of not being enough
Or maybe too much
Paralleled by insurmountable
Love
A love that takes my breath away
A love I never knew before
A love that gives me hope
And happiness
And confidence
A love that lets me forget
I lose myself, floating softly
Amidst clouds of warmth and joy
Pride and serenity
When suddenly my chest —
How could I’ve let go
Even just for a moment
Thinking this bliss could exist
Without the ever-looming
Doubt that laces a mother’s mind

Dear Morgan,

Hey Tink, I just want to be able to give you the world. I want to give you all of the opportunities I was never given. I want to hold you in my arms and protect you forever. I just want to see you smile every time I am in your presence. You, my dear are chosen, you are destined to be great. You will go on yo do incredible things, we just have to be strong and have patience. You are filled with such curiosity, creativity and compassion. My life before you was pretty simple, but life without you, I couldn’t imagine. I wish I could solve all of your problems before life throws them your way. But *** is impossible to avoid life’s obstacles so be sure to paint many rainbows for times when your skies are grey. Life is a balance of both good and bad and I witness this every day. I promise to always listen to you, even when I can’t take your pain away.

Love,
Mommy

          P.S. Be Brave, Be Fearless, Take Risk

From the moment I first heard your heart beat, I knew my life would be forever changed!

From the moment I felt your little flutters, I knew that our connection had been perfectly arranged!

The first time I held you in my arms I felt a love like never before.

The first time my eyes connected with yours I knew that my heart had been chanced at the core.

You have shared my life in many ways that I would have never imagined.

You have helped me to refocus my hopes and dreams by helping me find my passion.

From the start, I was a frightened young girl just waiting to conquer the world.

But you have taught me how to be brave and how to take on the world unfurled.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that God trusted me with someone so precious and pure.

But with my life, I promise to love you, nurture you and keep you secure.

I have held so many of your tears
on my skin
in my chest
that I have forgotten
I have my own.

It doesn't matter,
whether you're weak or stronger.
If you're a mother
your self no longer matter.
Even if you're wounded & broken,
you can't surrender.
You have to get up,
for your dearest son & daughter.

At first it was about you
Seeing adornment in your eyes i tell myself
I have to break the cycle.
I HAVE to break this cycle

But
I don't know how
To stop
This cycle

At first it was about you
Wanting to show you the stars and the sky
Hear what you've seen in the clouds today
To show you the wonderment and beauty of this place
Not teach you how to be afraid

Then it was about me
Every breath of air I take
Disintegrates
And I exhale ash
How will I be better for you?
Be there for you? Grow you?
From the examples I've had?
It was about you
but now it's me?
Is that- selfish

I think...
It was both
You see
At first it was you
Because thats how I understood
But  it was me too
You were my physical
Manifestation
Of my
Inner
child

And as I learn to nourish you
my little love
By showing you the pine trees
The dew stained mornings
The great beauty of this place
That you-
We
Don't have to be afraid of
I will learn
to
nourish
my
Inner
Child