Do you see my long good hair
My golden skin
My slanted eyes
Yes, I'm Mixed
I'm totally the prettiest girl here
I mean come on,
I'm mixed

You ******* wish you were me
Your man wants me
I'll ****** him up quick,
Yes, I'm Mixed
Call me a ***** you're just jealous

I'm mixed
This is how you portray me
I'm only pretty because I'm mixed
I'm only loved because I'm mixed

you say I don't understand being a black woman
My mommas black, my grandmother black and the mother before her was black too
Am I not black and a woman?
that's how she raised me
I understand that black women are treated the worst
I know black women aren't protected
I know black women are under valued
Unappreciated, Abused, used  
I know that black women are strong as ****
I know they're beautiful
I know that they're the blueprint for every Kardashian and Jenner

You say I don't understand the real struggle of being black
I'm not black enough to understand
I don't know how to be black

You say I'm white washed because the way I talk
You say I'm not black because
I don't equate ghetto with being black
I know what my ancestors went through
They fought for our freedom
They fought for equality
They fought for our education
They fought for every opportunity that we have today
I Know our ancestors didn't fight for us to just be equated with ghetto

Yes, I'm mixed
This doesn't excuse the other race of me
They say I'm not Asian enough too
I fight with them too

I'm tired of not fitting in
I'm tired of people nitpicking my percentage
I'm tired of fighting my own identity
I'm tired of being told I'm only special because I'm mixed

I'm Mixed
That doesn't make me special
So, go on tell me what I am
See me how you want to see me
What you say won't change who I am
It doesn't make me any less of what I am
A black and Asian woman or
An Asian and black woman

Yes, I am mixed

eyes a steely blue
skin a bone white
the lights red and blue
the air taut and tight
my fathers skin is brown
mine is fair and white

the white man calls the fuzz
the neighbors are a buzz
the man reported kidnap
feels just like a slap
we've been caught
in the white man's trap

only a quarter
my roots go back shorter
my fourth diminished
by history left unfinished

others blame
saying you’re ashamed
they want that quarter to know fame
they care for your ethnic name

but your skin is still fair
all is white except your hair
and you don't get stares
but your father does --- its so unfair

I carried in 20 pounds of groceries today...

Food I'll never eat.
Crawling back to bed I think
About the 20lbs I'm missing.

Everything is fine.
Going to the grocery store was...
Almost passing out

Weaving in and out of people
Staring. Why are they staring?
The metal under my hand as hot as my face.

It's suffocating.
This metallic taste.
I'm so hungry.

Everything is fine.
Is what I tell
Friends and family.

But nobody knows
I go straight to sleep
When I get home.

I want to die.
But I'm too scared.

So I silently cry under my sheets
With no energy to
Get up or eat.

Look on me dearly:
your stolen sullied sullen

daughter. I could dig you up
to hold your bones but

want only to wash myself
away, like white foam

from the seashore.
If I burn what is buried,

is it cremation
or disintegration? You would fly

ashes in the wind, like a wish
given

lift, like an altar of lit
incense.

Think of learning of your blood:
yellow skin and rice paddies

and great-great-great-great-granddaddy
grey for the Confederacy.

Do two halves not one whole
soul make? I take

a breath
and leave it

free.