Trying to forget you wishing I didn’t meet you
Because my heart is breaking
There’s so many things I want to say to you
But you’re not mine and it just seems weird saying these things to a stranger.
Can’t even call you a friend.

From the moment I met you
Tried to fight off the feelings of lust
Now I’m stuck with the feeling of love
I tried so hard not to fall and get hooked
But it failed and now it feels like getting hit by truck

There’s so much discontent but I’d wait forever and patiently for you.
For you to realise what you have right in front of you
But sometimes someone can’t wait round forever cos’ it ends up with you watching them fall in love with someone else in the end.

But I’m happy if you're happy
I wish you would believe me when I tell you
You deserve the world and so much more.
I might sometimes have a way with words
but most of the time I’m sinking
Painting a fake smile upon my face.
So I’ll just sit and watch from the distance.

Disappeared into an ocean of sadness
Turn and burn oh **** here we go.
Being hunted down.
Did he just buck it all the way to OZ

Hooked lined and sinker
It was like a rollercoaster  
Not known which track to take.
But nvm you where never mine

Trying to find the answers
while being stuck on yesterday
With my mind playing tricks on me.
Why does it have to hurt when you
Ain’t mine. No relationship just talking.

Maybe one day you’ll see what you missed
that one girl who’d never hurt you.
She lost hope when you left her on read.
She’s the one thinking what did I do wrong?
Was it the fact i expressed some love towards them?
Where’s the time gone? 2 months in and she’s confused. With mixed signals.
She knows deep down she doesn’t matter
She just wants validation from someone she admires.

I feel like I’m out of my mind.

It feels like the skin has been stripped from my body,
Like I am a raw house unable to contain this feeling.
Sounds are dissonant and salt to the wound.
My synapses are buzzing through every tissue.
I am so whole and yet so incomplete,
Angry, electrified, and scared.
This body of mine does not feel like a habitat.
It is more like a zoo enclosure.
I wonder when people will stop gawking at me
Like I am some caged animal.
I am wild.
I am easily provoked when afraid.
Please do not tap the class.
Please do not feed the animals.
Leave me where the ground cries out in anguish
For the blood of my psyche shed in the tall grass.
I was not made for this.
I am not a performer in some circus, some exotic parade.
They have stripped me of my skin,
And this body does not feel like home anymore.

What’s this feeling?
The pressure upon my chest, pushing me down
Its
s    u    f     f    o    c    a    t   i    n   g
And I don’t know why.
Is it because of them?
Whom I to point the finger to this time?
I feel a boiling in my stomach at these
thoughts.
Why did it ache so much?
There must be something awry in my brain.
This sense of dread
This lingering loneliness.
But what is this feeling..?
It aches through my bones
through my pours and through my
f   l   e   s   h
Like a thousand knives ripping through my
entire being.
This sickness rising in my chest,
burning in my ribcage and setting my soul ablaze.
But for what reason?
What else could selfish me possibly wish to bargain for?
Please just tell me, dear friend
What is this feeling?

Laughter and leisure as free will flows
Attention fades in this comfort zone
Chatter with chewing, mixed between both
Unknown senses tickle the throat

More than a stutter
Chuckle has froze
Esophagus tightened
Pretense to pose
Raising some questions
They already know
Air flow now closed

Gasping as no space left kept for breath
Eyes turn to water bloodshot entry blocked
Unimpressed to be consumed by death
Slapped to the back
Less access this isn't a test

I absorbed the world
All the while feeling
It was rejecting me

Never Asian enough
Never white enough
Told that I was neither

I am both, more, and nothing at the same time
I simply am.

night and day— a unison
in serene dawn,
entwined in hope,
lust, fun.

then flecks and flashes of flesh
and light snare souls
with optimism
and choke with reality.

until night and day, crossed
at the harshest bit of twilight,
are dead.