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There is nothing more I wish
Than to see the loved ones
As they pass away.
Because every time they died,
I was never around
And they died alone.
At home, or at a hospital.
During my school hours
Or in the deepest night.
And I don't want to be elsewhere.
I want to be there.
I NEED to see them.
To properly say

And thank you.



clear your mind.

breath in.

and out.

This world
is kind.

You will be fine.

You're doing great.



four - seven - eight.

Now hug yourself
and softly smile.

or cry a little.

breathe for a while.


and calm.

see what is there:
your favourite place
you've built with care?

strong growing plants,
delicious tea?

a patch of sunlight,
warm, gentle sea?

inhale... and listen
for a while.

it all will pass.

and all be fine.

I hope that whatever stressful situation you might be dealing with, you will always have strength to find quality time for yourself.
For those who might not know, 4 7 8 is a wonderful breathing technique for calming anxiety.
Back then you were
Happy, thankful, content
A year later
Broken, wailing and spent
A month later
Hopeful, nervous and sad
A week later
It's the worst that you've ever had
A day later
You're healing and turning to friends
An hour later
Treading barefoot in the sand
A minute later
't was never so easy to love
A second later
Your heart's being taken apart...
What will happen,

we never know from the start.
You've been there, seen that, done that, -
But I don't care because
I have to try to be there,
I need to go and see that,
I must attempt to do that -
But this time, on my own.
When I first crushed into this boy,
it was like walking in the breeze
a beam of sunshine on my desk
a hope of seeing something more
When I first crushed into this man,
There was no pain, but much of fear
I saw him wild and saw him tamed,
And thought I knew what was his core.
I didn't.

Much to his surprise,
I stood relentless by his side.
He pushed away, I didn't halt,
And now I'm broke,
And it's my fault.
When I first crushed into this man,
I had a thousand miles to go.
I'm walking still without a plan.
Above me cries ****** of crows.
It's killing me and I don't care,
I've promised not to turn away.
My soul's beginning to decay.
I'm scared as hell and it's not fair.
Right now, I write and realise.
It's not like walking in the breeze -
A storm that upside-downs my desk.
A pain, and fear that makes me freeze.
Right now, I write and realise -
Despite all this, I still don't care.
It's downright mad and it's unwise,
But to see you, I'll pay this fare.
When the world ends and the skies clash,
When the tide grows and the fires crash,
I promise, I won't tremble.
Till the last hour I will stand strong,
Till the last breath defend right from wrong.
Till the dawn, I won't stumble.
When you die young, when your eyes close,
When your hand slips and your heart slows,
I promise I will not cry.
I'll take it all, I will ask no whys
Live through every fall
Live through every try
But here, I will not die.
If you were there, to watch me burn,
Spilling metal heart in broken yearn,
You would not turn away.
But as it is, I stand alone,
The hands are cold, the bow is drawn,
And for the end I pray.
If you were here, to watch me die,
(please, stay close...)
I could have said the last goodbye.
(i wanna see you just once again)
But now, my hopes are naught.
We get no answers when we live.
Life teaches us to just believe.
Just be, no matter what.
(are you there?)


so, when  all's gone,
and the wind howls,
when the dead rise
and the earth yowls –
I wanted to say a few words
I couldn't have said otherwise
My eyesight is sore and blurred
My voice, it constantly lies
You think I despise you so much
But that's nowhere close to my feels
I imagine your heavy, strong touch
My heart's clenched and my head reels
You sit, and I watch from afar
You walk, and I'm trailing behind
For me you're a guiding star
Still the rocketship's nowhere to find
There's many lewd jokes on my mind
But now they're all totally gone
My head is so empty and blind
Whenever you're being around
I sit here cross-legged and wait
I'm waiting for you to start talking
You've always so much to say
I have to stand up and get walking
Walking away, it's all pointless
My mind is a ludicrous mess
My body's all sluggish and jointless
From my thoughts, I have nowhere to rest
I want you to notice and praise me
I want you to cry and to smile
I want all your good days and bad days
I've wanted you now for a while
They always considered me ******
But that's how it is, I don't mind
As long as you'll listen, I'll tell you:
There'll be always a room by my side.
old something.
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