i usually try
to start work
a streak of sun
across the middle
of the floor
was so appealing
i had to lie
in that pool
of being down
the dog nosed
at my ear
at my side
his chin resting
on my arm
the comfort of
a hint that he wished
to stretch out
where i was lay
as clouds crept
across the sky
to steal our sunlight
he shifted his weight
let out a deep-lunged sigh
but stayed at my side
Morph into anything
Into a nightmare
Into a pleasant dream
A morning bird
Or a moonlit bedroom
Fear of handcuffs
Or whisper's trust
Into an old man
Or newborn flower
Stain of coffee
Or withering grass
You'll morph into
In my dream
I'll still love you
Every other second, you move your hands
elegant, pliable, alive and strong
you twist them into a knot
and rub with thumbs
I dare not look away
these hands are holding
nothing less than a ribbon
leading straight into my heart
and there it gets irrevocably tangled
and there it pulls me deeper into this madness
I'm in love with your hands
they live their own intruguing life
while you think and laugh...
I’m sorry I’m so clumsy
Some days it seems like the world is fighting me at every step
And I’m losing the battle
I stumble over every stubborn staircase
I trip over my tongue like an uneven rug
Every new set of walls is a labyrinth I get lost in
Every move I make is disjointed and uncertain
My fingers and feet flail when I’m carrying precious, fragile things
And before I know it I’m sprawled on the floor
Surrounded by shattered fragments
Bruised and aching
Burning with humiliation and frustration
But I’ll try to be careful.
If you will be brave enough to trust me
I will try to keep my steps in line and my path straight
I will try to find the rhythm in the song of my surroundings
I will try to see beyond my limitations
My faults, my failures, my frequent falls
I will try to look up and see the beauty in the world
Instead of staring at my feet in fear
I may trip at times
But I will not be trapped in trepidation
I ask for your patience
I am trying to be patient with myself too
My best is all I can really do
And I will do what I can to be the best for you
never going out with it
the hole that's leaving my soul bare
i wish i could tell you things
instead i can only stare
and pray you understand
improbably divine, it happened still.
reborn, rebuilt, rebroken and rejoined,
like grass that grows across the asphalt scars,
some different kind of me with changing will.
adapting. morphed. you know, sometimes,
the thing what hurts you so, so much
can turn into a blessing in disguise.
or so I hope.
took out the glass shards from my feet,
then stepped one time, ignoring pains,
covered the road with my blood stains.
it hurts, but so important still. and so,
I'm ready now to step again
and i'm trying to make sense of it
There is nothing more I wish
Than to see the loved ones
As they pass away.
Because every time they died,
I was never around
And they died alone.
At home, or at a hospital.
During my school hours
Or in the deepest night.
And I don't want to be elsewhere.
I want to be there.
I NEED to see them.
To properly say
And thank you.