Smoke and mirrors,
That’s all you ever were.
Bathing in the river of illusion.
In the eleventh hour,
Is when your loyalties turned.
You’re a ****** artist,
Painting me a fool for your own amusement.
Playing with fire always leaves a burn.
Ignorance keeps the monsters away.
Never wanted this to begin with.
Should’ve listened to my conscience.
You’re the professional illusionist.
I’m unconsciously laying with a demon.
How can I ever love again?
If I’m still caught in the chase.
What you’ve taken from me,
Can’t be easily replaced.
Past the point of no return.
My nightmares have been infiltrated by your dreams.
Wishing to look past all the graphic details.
As you left me here silently.
The nights getting colder.
Will the beast ever sleep?
You got me begging on my knees.
You can really make those clowns scream.

Maybe in the symmetry of life were all the same,
just mirrors in the flesh driving each other insane.
You think you're so different, you're the one to blame.
Imagine us as sand, were all just grains,
imagine us as grass, were all just blades,
imagine us as the ocean, were all just waves.
it's okay to be different of course, that's not what I'm dealing,  
but just don't gloat about being better like nobody else has feelings.  
We're all the same, all got brains,
unwanted pains, all binded by chains,
trying to escape the insane.
We all just want honesty.

You were found in my ignorances

The things I chose not to see in myself,
you found in me

This contagious, spontaneous, fun house walk-through, reflecting only the compassionate parts of us two

Just between you and me, clowns…are extremely creepy. And whoever decided that clowns were funny and appropriate for children….. Just noooo.

But even though I hate clowns, I’ve seemed to become one. My red smile on a white coat of paint that is my face.

No…

I didn’t always look like this. I used to look like you. But now I have this, A red painted frown plastered on my face and guess what?!

It’s stuck there.

This is not the kind of make up you can just wash off, scrubbing the skin until it start to bleed and I can’t take the pain anymore.

And I don’t just mean the physical pain. I tried to paint another colour onto my skin, I tried to cover it up but I can’t. People still see it, they ask about it as if it bothers them more than it bothers me.

Yes! Of course! Eyes up here remember? Stop staring at it. Don’t ask me about it, it’s been there for too long…

My clown face can scare people. Do I look like a scary person to you? Is there a reason why children are afraid of me? There is still a person underneath this face paint, underneath this skin.

And people say clowns are supposed to be funny, no wonder people find my face so easy to laugh at.

Come on! Tell me it’s funny, TO MY FACE. I dare you, tell me exactly what it is, and why it’s so funny. I can laugh at it too you know, because I’m supposed to. I’m supposed to just laugh it off.

At the end of the day, I decided to visit the house of mirrors. I walk down the hallway mirrors on both sides and I stop in front of each one and stare at myself in the mirror.

I’m not happy with what I see in it. I’m not content with it, I am not okay with this image being forever, I don’t want this to be me forever.

So, one day, I will find a mirror that doesn’t show me like this, and it exist in people’s eyes, these mirrors exist in the people who see me the way I should see myself. So when I look into the eyes of my friends and family, I can see myself, and I don’t look like this.

One day, I’ll find a way to get this red frown off of my face one day I tell myself.

One day, I’ll stop being a clown…. And I’ll start being me again.

Mirrors will never forget
The names I've called
And the fates I've met
From crying by myself.
I really don't know
What has become of me
Bloodshot eyes and deafening cries
And I scream and I scream again
Until long,
Nothing is left of my sanity
And I call your name once more.

This prison is a place where darkness only breeds
and the shadows dance with themselves,
playing tricks on my eyes, darting quickly across the walls
only to vanish upon my focused gaze.

I once caught a glimpse of these hypnotic specters;
cruel machinations of tortured souls revealed themselves
to be nothing more than corrupted reflections of myself
wandering aimlessly through a hall of mirrors.

These rooms were once traversable,
but now this maze is more twisted than my own intentions;
unheeded, unnoticed and smiling, like a knife in the dark
waiting for an opportunity to quell any ambitions
that may lead to freedom.

(10w x 3)

:::::
people see in you
what you wish them to see
:::::

:::::
but your mirrors don't lie,
truth radiates
its own light...
:::::

:::::
you may show rock salt,
.......i still see sugar granules
:::::
:::::

Sally


Copyright January 31, 2017
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

do you know how it feels
to catch yourself in the mirror
and hate what you see?
catching glimpses of my eyes in the reflection
and seeing how heavy they look,
with the deep, dark bags underneath
and the tiredness that cannot be ignored.
the smile that is heavy,
that so desperately wants to be genuine.
the shoulders that are broad and manly
that are supposed to be strong.
the shoulders that are hunched and strained
from carrying the weight of the world on them.
the arms, once scarred, have grown thin.
the hands that are cracked beyond repair.
the fingers that are torn and so desperately want to heal.
the chest that wishes to be smaller.
the torso that will never be satisfactory.
the legs that are too big are sore,
from trying to hold up the skeleton inside.
the feet that have walked millions of miles,
through everything.
i try so hard to hide this from the people around me,
but i guess mirrors show us everything we never want others to see...

I wish I knew
what I know now
on that spring day
in that room of mirrors

When a breath escaped
my wind-filled pipes
and the break of ice
sealed up my fate

Perhaps if then I knew
what perhaps now I know
I would break those mirror
and fight that fate
or have a cup of tea

But because this trap
was still quite unknown
I found myself ensnared
and year after year
a cozy cell awaits

This is the end
and I bid no tale but
warning

Escape this fate
or you will find yourself
mourning