I am not apart of my body
And I'm not apart of my mind
These places aren't real and neither am I-
I find comfort in this feeling, oddly satisfied.  

I fade away forgetting the pain
Stuck in this haze
I can't seem to reciprocate a single conversation
Slipping away they think my fate is seldom at the devil's gate
But truly I am just dissociating away.
I can't seem to remember what it was they hated
But I no longer feel the weight of all that's been done to me
Spinning freely away from your gaze.

My memory is stuck. Someone took a key and locked it up and these painful thoughts seep through the bars causing me to feel ajar, I feel panicked I feel disgusted. The pain I thought I hid from is now being digested.

Piece by piece get it back in tiny parts, float away and forget the pain please protect my heart. I can't seem to remember what it was you've done to me, but I know in my bones, my body never felt like home, because it was you who had injected me and infected me, with your sick sticky specimen, locked up in your basement den, ruining my mind teaching me to fly.

My head is nearly leaking methanol disguise my self hide it all. I believe I'm a doctor I know I can prescribe it all myself. Self medicated nose full of Xanax lines i can't seem to get inside my head. Heart is bursting out my chest, lungs are full of cigarettes, God It was such a mess I loved it. The chaos he created, made me replicate it, a cycle of doom there's so many men in my room, who am I anymore?  

Front view right above myself just so I can watch my body rotting. This self destructive part of me is so **** exhausting. How come no one sees my cries how come no one saves me from these lies. Im feeling lonely. Each person came and took a awfully big piece of me I'm starting to fall apart so easily.

Sixteen years feels like too much.
When all you've felt is enough
The cold bitter wind just let this be the end of me, so maybe I can float away for real this once instead of in my mind
I can't make it this time.

The goddess in the wind, kissed me tenderly and told me it's time to win. I felt the warmth and I started to sing, that's when I turned 18 and you gave me a ring, we rebuild all the parts they broke together, and while I may still float away, my angel boy is there to catch me when the wind blows me too far away, slowly and tenderly wrapping my torn heart in his arms,
He saved me.

I break the surface  
As the water recedes,  
I'm no longer fighting,  
Washed up in the weeds.  

I search for the voice  
That guides my return,  
Breaking the sand  
Where the tide has turned.  

I crawl like the waves,  
Retreating, then strong—  
I stand on two feet,  
Though the journey is long.  

I walk for the hills,  
The sun escapes me,  
The night draws in,  
Moon lights the quay.  

I see you waiting  
On the pier alone,  
You never gave up,  
Guiding me home.  

The pain in my heart  
Washed out at sea—  
A burden released,  
As you comfort me.

By Darren Wall ©

My reflection glistens,
in the hard-edged mirror,
No one listens,
when i mention the scissor.
The tip of the sword,
meets my skin,
not a single word,
replenishes the sin.
Drowning in tears,
my heart sinks low,
with blood red fears,
my heart rate, low.
Guilt lies near,
with regret and despair,
not a single thought clear,
i melt completely bare.

are you there God?
I have a question to ask,
a request to pray,
so please don't leave-
why don't you stay?

am I living for you
or living for me?
and if I die today
is it for you or for me?

God, if you're there
hear my plea,
listen to my cries...
all day and all night
I pray for your hand in mine
and all I can manage to hold
is a gun, a pill, a rope.

God, are you even there?
did you do this to me?
or did my sins bring me here?

and will it be the Almighty who comes to save me
or the devil who leads me to his grave.

God if you're there
please don't leave just yet!
I have one more question to pray
one last thing to say,

if I die one day, if I finally do...

is it because of me or because of you?
do my sins cast me into the casket of fire
or do you rescue me like a savior.

God, I ask one just one more thing of you -
do you miss me as much as I miss you?
have you forgotten about me too?
or was I never meant for you...

I'm drifting out to sea,  
Where the storms brew,  
At peace with the thunder,  
Entranced by the view.  

The lightning leads,  
As my eyes fixate—  
The violent storm  
Communicates.  

I can't hear your cries,  
I can't feel your pain,  
Blind to your attempts  
To save me again.  

The sea crashes,  
I’m dragged from the shore,  
Trapped and alone—  
To fight this harsh war.  

I'm lost in the storm  
That silences your plea.  
Don’t cry for me now…  
This fight is in me.  

By Darren Wall ©

Waking up is
always so hard,
just like falling asleep.
But I sleep with sleeping pills,
and I wonder,
why aren't there
waking pills?

Streetlights hum a lullaby
to neon dreams.
Cracked pavement blooms
with graffiti roses.

My heart, a tangled vine,
unfurling in the dark.
Too many words unsaid,
a choked-back symphony.

Phone screen glows,
a cold comfort.
Another night adrift
in the digital sea.

But somewhere, a connection flickers.
A shared breath,
a whispered "me too."

Maybe tomorrow,
the static will clear.
Maybe tomorrow,
we'll find our bloom.