V Exeter Aug 6
Call me depressed.
The clinic did
& does.

Call me detached.
I assure you,
& my

rope, that I
am fully tied.

At night, Death gropes:
finds but a bloat
on slab.

She's come for my soul,
but it's not up for grabs,

because, just as The depressed Brit,
I don't have one, or a heart, to steal,

but I'll sell this bone-in meat to you
on the cheap, for a reminder of

the great heights I can achieve
with these two knees dug in dirt,

between your tapered ravine,
beset on sides with quaking legs,

and wanting for the river.

I'm stuck on the ground,
but I'm high as fuck.
Today,
A young man was digging in the trash
Next to an Art Gallery
Here in Denver.
I didn't really think
That there was anything of value in that trash can.
So, I interrupted him by saying,
"Sir,"
"Would you like a bar."
I had a few of those Bearded Brothers Bars in my backpack.
He appreciated getting interrupted
From his fruitless search
And gladly took two Bearded Brothers Bars.
Then,
He asked me for water.
Well, I have a very wide mouth water bottle,
And he just had an empty bottle of purchased water.
So,
I didn't think it would be easy from me to pour water
From my bottle to his bottle
Without a funnel.
I gave him my change,
And instructed him to get some fresh water
At a gas station instead.
Then,
He started talking
And it was all a "word salad".
He didn't make any sense at all,
And I excused myself to go buy some lunch at Parsley
Nearby.
As a person with a psychiatric myself,
Let me tell you
That no one can tell you how to cope
In this crazy world.
When you see someone who can't use his or her mind,
You realize
That your "sins" are infinitesimal.
So,
Maybe,
I'm  spend a bit too much money
On good quality Chinese Food.
Yes,
I really like to look at
Well-Focused  nude photos
Of beautiful women.
I probably spend too much money
On houseplants
And give too many of them away.
None of these
"Excesses"
Amount to the catastrophe  
Of being helplessly incoherent
Out there on the streets.
This Right Wing Conservative Agenda
Of people like President Donald Trump
Doesn't just deprive agencies that serve people with psychiatric disorders of funding.
It also represents  false sense of values.
We need to help everyone to THRIVE.
So, a President who is NOT thriving cognitively himself
Really is in no position
To preach a Gospel of
"Self-Sufficiency"
And side with the Religious Right
On all issues pertaining to sexuality,
Telling women what to do with their bodies.
However,
If President Donald Trump
Was admitted to an Inpatient Psychiatric Ward,
He would give the therapists and psychiatrist
A lot of work!
He would not be rapidly let back out on the streets
Until the staff was sure that he could function
On his own in Society.
If he wasn't so rich,
I guarantee you that Donald Trump
Would be digging in a Trash Can
That has nothing of value in it
Just like the fellow
I helped today.
Flush the anger
Flush the pain
Flush the indifference

Intake
Single pill of divine diuretics

If you need more,
Then,
Let me prescribe,
SOS.
Theme: Humanizing Medicine. [World Kidney Day,  2018. Kidney N’ Women’s Health: Include, Value, Empower. March 8th.] Note: SOS means as per need.
3AM, one night of May 25
Run out of fuel to move around
“Imbalance, impatient”, was I.
Called a Dr, to get some help
Wondered, “what is your problem?”
Umm, “I never know what peace is.”
Fatigue, swelling, loss of memory
Feeling low and much more, all I get.

Achievement of life
Umm, gaining 3 pounds of weight every month
Blood work was out of range,
Homeostasis was not on my side
Felt of lost in transition,
Between Heaven and Hell.

“Dr., am I going to die?”
Tempting to release the constant fear
Stupid arguments that haunt every time.

“Calm down, it’s not too late”,
“Don’t escape from the realms of reality”,
“Let the awareness spread”,
“Fight, support and advocate”,
“Seek a path of peaceful harmony”,
“Let’s make 25th May, bigger”,
He said.
Genre: Clinical
Theme: On 25th May, it's World Thyroid Day
Diary filled with,
Test strips
Carb counts
Calorie graphs
Old reports
Appointments
Hotlines
Expenses of a bills
This can be life, all about.

A contempt face,
With a sweetened blood
Scrolling a display to dial
Curiosity of hypo and hyper,
A big nightmare
Obesity in gene
Sedentary chills,
Sympathetic rush,
Diabetes, by default.
Defective B-cell
OHA on trial
Complications close by,
A vial of longevity, stand by
1/2/3/4/5, shots a day
Seems everything is ok
Elemental peace
Though, to be precise,
With a sugary comfort, future is diabetic.
Genre: Clinical
Theme: World Diabetes Day, Nov 14
Next,
May I know your problem?
“I feel Pain.”
Where?

Here
Here
Here
Everywhere.

With smile she answered.

Whether I examined her, or
I got examined.

Though,
We were on Par.

Smile returned.
Part of my everyday life.
I’m a mess

Depressed

Reckt

Can’t Recollect

When I last felt sane

This dysfunctional brain

Hates me so much

And while I used to have a crutch

The drugs are gone

Now for so very long

No longer numb

Bending over, getting bummed

No escape

From this metaphorical rape

All I can do is close my eyes

Pretend I’m high

Distract myself

And for my health

Send myself away

To a place where I’ll stay

Until I’m ready to return

Until the sunlight no longer burns

I pray

For this day

When I can walk from here to there

Without beginning to stare

In disbelief at the people

Who I only see as sheeple

The day I become one of them

The day I no longer need these chems

Or maybe they’ll pump me full

Of their pharmaceutical bull

And while I might be stuck on those

At least I tried and chose

Instead of falling back

Powerless to react

Answering impossible questions

With narcotic mind extensions

— The End —