I cover up my cuts
So you won’t see
I lie
So you won’t know
I punch you
So you will go away
But it’s time you knew
Every scar on my body,
Is just another example of how weak I am.
Every emotion shown,
Is a show of how inadequate I feel.
Every action I do,
Is a show of the control I try to exhibit.
Every cut on my arms,
Is another battle I lost.
I’m not as strong as I portray myself to be
I fell off the “good” train long ago
Every time I say I’m fine
I’m lying
Every time I laugh
It’s fake
Every time I smile,
I want to die
But I do everything in my power
So you won’t know
I try to protect you
From the horror that is myself
But you need to know,
I am breaking

No One..
A listed contact..
A XZ.No.One..I deleted its History  all removed and packed.
Just a title locked within my cellphone..
A titled I'm too scared to call on..
The title I wish to hear from at the bottom of my phone.
No One can see the me I hide..
If only I was what One had decide.
Oh the titles I used to give..
To No One.
The No One Used to be the One.
I pushed and I pulled at those swaying leaves.
Loved the way its leaves would blow within my breeze.
No  One.. shook lose from my winds.
And  we both are enduring..
getting over the visions of hoping.
That No One could someday bring.
Us that special SomeOne.
Fears took control..
Where No One is unable to console.
I could car less about no One Gone.
Yet No One is the only One that could bring a smile to my phone.
Slipping in and out of Realities.
Playing with No Ones memories.
It Just No One.
SelinaSharday S.A.M 2018

I take the corner too sharp
In my silver chariot
A canopy of stars
Above my head:
Illusory stardom
Conquests
Illusions of what’s to come
My head spins,
But I’m in control

High voltage chaotic energy
A live wire reverie,
Riding cool,
Living like a fool,
Freedom tastes sweet
Even in the salty heat

Like a lion in the light
I’m fierce and ready to fight
Around and around we go
An aggressive game of tick-tack-toe
Hit ‘em high and hit ‘em low
Willpower, square,
Is all that’s left,
As I steer right
But it’s all wrong
Spiritual transformation
I alchemise the feelings

They say if you can crawl
Then you can walk
And if you can walk
Then you can run
And if you can run
Then you can go
But I can’t.

I’m losing all control
Reckless determination
Causes the assertion
Of loss
Causes the termination
Of victory

Remembering him after losing him, is like losing him all over again.

"come back to me", she said

all night she screamed
thinking that if the sound
was louder
the suffocating feeling will be gone.

"come back to me", she whispered
as her vision blurred once more
thinking of that one person she lost
no, it wasnt the boy who held
her broken heart
nor the father that was buried 6 feet below

"come back to me", she hummed with
drooping eyes of pills

wondering when she started crumbling
and losing herself for someone
who didnt even matter.