Nov 14 Ash
I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if that love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me

I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts that they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
Because you broke me
And I was looking for different fingers
To place different pieces and hoping
That the outcome would be a masterpiece
That maybe one of them would find a way
To cover up the handprints you left all over me

I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself that you wouldn't be the only one
That the scars that mark my body wouldn't define my worth to be loved
I am still not entirely sure that you aren't the only one
Who could ever touch me

I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- I am hoping one of them will show me
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay
  Nov 14 Ash
Stan Gichuki
I fall in love with souls not faces
  Oct 30 Ash
He says he hates the color blue, and turns to look at me.
"Except for your eyes. I like that color."
  Oct 21 Ash
You didn't have the capacity
to be the father I needed you to
You didn't have the eyes to see
How my heart bled for you

Doesn't blood run thicker than water?
Why did you up and run away?
Did you know how you hurt your daughter?
It's probably best you didn't stay

The liquor was more of a priority
as it always has been and still is,
than you taking time out for me
I guess the best we'll ever have is this.
A cloudi inspired write.
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