1d Ash
CMS
You didn't have the capacity
to be the father I needed you to
You didn't have the eyes to see
How my heart bled for you

Doesn't blood run thicker than water?
Why did you up and run away?
Did you know how you hurt your daughter?
It's probably best you didn't stay

The liquor was more of a priority
as it always has been and still is,
than you taking time out for me
I guess the best we'll ever have is this.
A cloudi inspired write.
  1d Ash
PoetryJournal
Imagines a moon
where there's none,

upon night sky
paints a sun.
Ash 1d
Life has the sickest sense of humor
It connected me with you,  blood,
Blood they warned me against you
They said you'd allure me with your:

Dazzling  lights and glitter billboards
With your sweet scent of success
That wafts though the open wall street windows
With high hopes and dreams that flow up and down Hudson river.

I was lost in the blist
Then you burned me, burned me,
How many times did you burn me?
Five, four, seven, maybe ten times?

I should have walked way
so you would follow suit
But I thing you knew I didn't want to
So you pulled me deep into those
Hudson waters and drowned  me
Yet life connected me with you through blood, bleed
The name blood is a reference to someone related to me, I needed to write this to fight my demons
  Oct 8 Ash
Chameleon
I know he doesn't understand why I think he makes the sun shine
and why I am always starry eyed when I look at him.
He doesn't know that he is beyond anything I could have hoped a guy could be.
Before I met him I wanted to swear off men and never open up again.
He is so good to me and doesn't have any reason to be.

On Saturday morning I had enough of fighting a headache that lasted all night so I gently woke him up and said,
"I'm going to the gas station to get pills."
He sat up and ran his hand up and down my back and asked me if there was anything he could do and if I wanted to go home.
I told him I'd be back.
He was awake, but laying in bed when I returned and motioned for me to lay down and asked me if I was okay.

Just those little things, the small questions of concern mean everything.
I'm not used to a guy wanting to help, but I could definitely adjust with him.
Ash Oct 2
Once upon a time we had it all
Somewhere down the line we went and lost it
One brick at a time we watched it fall
I'm broken here tonight and Darling no one else can fix me
Only You
This is from little mix,though I totally relate to this right now
  Oct 2 Ash
Chameleon
I wish I could learn to be happy with what I have.
Even though I want something or someone I wish I could be happy with right now.
I have made some changes and done things in the last 4 months that I used to think I could never do.
My life is simple and restful.
I have a sweet little apartment, and a good job.
I live lazily through my days with no drama,
and I always have someone to hangout with.
I have a lot of good.
I might be too much of a romantic and think I won't be full until I have Love.
But that's just another good thing I have.
The chance, the opportunity and excitement of falling in love and having no idea when it will happen.
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