I don't understand, but your tone incites.
Is this ignorance or bravado
Is love and hate the same when the day of fated relations stays mocking on the morrow
Are the planted dead standard
Pentagram repenting it's whistles to the waifs
Who captivates plenty yet scrape for their dinner pennies like dog scraps.
Why am I still beneath this lake?

*******

for preying on my naïveté
and the innocence
that I hadn't lost yet

and destroying my trust
when I idolized you
like a ******* god

and taking my heart
knowing **** well that
you planned to break it.




but also,
thank you

for showing me how to
spot those red flags

and teaching me
the lessons that I would
eventually need to learn
with or without you

and proving to me that
I deserve so much better.

Why did it have to happen
What is it , I am supposed to learn from it ?
If my life wasn't perfect already
Well now it's gone to ****
Walking around with a mask on
What used to be me
My uniqueness
What's that ?
No hugs Stay away
No going out
No rock concerts
That was what keep me alive
That's what made it worth it ..
Not alone sheltered from living and laughing
Being with others
Going places
Enjoying being alive
Enjoying the beauty of nature
That's living
Talk about depression
I wonder why keep living
Alone and Depressed
I wonder why ?
What's this life lesson
What did. I do in a past life
to deserve this ..
Hmmm ...
© Jennifer L DeLong 10/24/2020

Be the golden thought,  
made from golden yarn,
in a golden night,
on a golden bed,
from a golden dream,
in a golden life!
~
Find the gold in your story!
Find the courage in your wings!
Be the golden star in your flying dreams!

She took everything from me.
There was nothing left to identify.
She replaced all my insides with a darkness I can’t hide
And whenever it came down to my needs,
It was “What else have you done for me?”
My momma said
Love should be a treasure.
My momma said
Love should give you pleasure.
Well I guess I’m new to love.
How do I get lovin’ like that?

You say you’re what I’ve been missing.
You say you can get me feeling so high,
And we’ll never hit the ground, that this high won’t come down.
Gave a wink and blew some kisses at me,
Mmm just sweepin’ my feet.
My momma said
I just need a refresher.
Well maybe you
Could be my professor?
I’m sorry, I’m new to love,
I can’t take much more combat, no.
If you’re not new to love,
How can I get lovin’ like that?

My mirror reflects someone
I don’t recognize
but I love her
and I respect her
more and more
everyday.