there's a stir in my heart
feels like having a fit
what to do about it?

i don't know where to start
i'll just sit for a bit

most endeavors
include a honeymoon effect
but all have a wall
a hurdle so great
that if overcome
will change
the very essence
of who you are
who you will be
a great transformation

why it is like this
I don't know
I myself
have yet to climb
sucessfully
get me
out of this place
and escape
this wretched
meaningless existence

Quiet static from the TV calms my tired soul
A metronome of jagged rhythms and wild tempos
Yet it must repeat at some point
And that's all it needs to do

Day by day, I see the sun rise and set
Or is it simply me sinking lower and rising back up like the tide?
I'd like to say that it's the sun or the Earth doing the work
Because I'm far too weak to move

Drops of water fall from the leaky faucet
***** saucers and pans piled high near the sink
A warm mixture of sweat and pizza hangs in the air
Not quite unpleasant, like an old blanket over my body

Sweat drips from my neck and wets the collar of my shirt
My head resting on the hot arm of the sofa
And I can see both the ceiling of the room and of my skull
I balance on the cliff over the chasm of slumber

Teetering back and forth on the precipice, not sure if I should jump
My eyes blinking faster than the static
My heart beating slower than that faucet
My body feels like it's falling down and then flying back up
And the moon plays peak-a-boo as I pass through the clouds over and over again

the sheets feel soft
atop the loft
where another second waits
yet no matter how
you pull yourself
no price is just too great
the midday sun
a scheduled run
even with games to play  
and when it's dark
thus doubly hard
it's impossible! I say

no man's land:
a healthy dose of could-be-worse
for the idiot who equates
the quotidian
to the epicenter of a war.

a special place in hell
for people
who ask for advice
that they can toss
over their shoulder
like a dying cigarette:
instant, capricious gratification.
in hindsight, he shouldn't have cared
for what his friends thought.

like me, perfect role model:
as in control as a truck with faulty brakes
as much fun as falling asleep at a wake
as resilient as a fibreglass dream.

sees the situation that awaits
around the corner
in the alley
that pulses with pathetic light.

cowers
runs
cries
says:
"i wish my skin was as thick as my skull"
and immediately, immovably, refuses to change.

Poem number 1000 – Part Three : Deeper and deeper


Forever onward, into a future of possibilities;
Another line, from inside a mind, without sense, but with sensibility.
Throughout time I have learned to garner my abilities,
To become the man you hear; I have earned my dependability.


In partnership, I have discovered my heart
And I doomed it from the start, to starve inside a life of scars.
****** for eternity, to tear myself apart;
Without a guiding hand to guide me, I fell beneath the stars.


Blessed mornings are all slept right through
And aspirations are lost alongside the dripping dew.
The sunshine awakens my eyes, as I see through the blind;
But I shall still not arise, from this cocoon.


Into slumber I drift, indifference I change;
I have become a slave of my own disdain.
The words echo out of my mouth and around the room;
In tunes we marvel, in love we are eternally doomed.


Our hope is curtailed, so we have set sail;
The voyage of the ******, Poseidon at our tail.
A war of world’s, inside a shattered soul;
Our thoughts come and go, but we are deep inside this hole.


(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

your skin is warm under my hands,
goosebumps rising under my finger tips.
we have made a castle out of our blankets,
just for the two of us.
our bodies entertwined,
like vines grasping at the sun.
our voices only a whisper,
their words a secret only we know.
I wish we could be this way
Forever.