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Walking along the shore
Feeling sore from emotions indescribable
Forced to live, silently suffering.
The only outlet being the salty deep reflecting the perfect sun
With all my strength, with all the anger of everything ever felt
I yell out to the open waters
Sobbing, breaking down in the rough sand.
It’s almost as if it speaks to me, in the form of crashing waves,
as if it feels sympathy
The only sympathy,
My heart is so messed up I don’t even know if it's deserved by me
But it’s either releasing everything on the quiet seabed
Or facing my real problems
Which are too much for any sane mind to take;
That is if I’m still sane
After all, I’m screaming at the ocean,
And it’s funny to think I expected a response..
To all those who think it's over, stay strong.
Malia Jan 11
Poetry
Is our humble attempt
To describe
The indescribable.
A Jul 2022
Waves of sadness as you wave in my direction. I see you go, I watch you leave. Just as the seasons appear and dispose of me. We take turns walking away, from people we never talked to. Wondering why it hurts the same. Hating that it hurts as all of these people go. Sudden realisation hit us one by one. As we wonder, and walk, and wonder around all the topics we may have avoided. The thoughts we’re apparently devoid of. Introspect, retrospect, dissect ourselves in this critical moment. Nostalgia knocking us over making us think and  making us feel, for once. A remarkable feat, it must be applauded. Ovation, overjoy, overwhelm. Over this. Over them. Over it. Time moving so agonisingly slowly, wishing away the years. Needing to escape, yet wanting to eternalise the way they make me feel. Nothing lasts forever. Maybe you should’ve, yet you didn’t. Now you’re all that’s left tell me how it feels. It doesn’t feel good, it doesn’t even seem right. Yet it’s a must and a miss you. The question has to be asked: why are you crying now? After all these months, why are you letting it hit now? Stay strong, be strong, be you. Be fearless and young. The golden years fade away into shades of blue and black skies. I wish you all well, and a happy birthday. Get well soon, get there soon. It’s all getting to me too soon. It’s too soon. How are we already here? We were all the way over there yesterday. Faces flash and second pass by with smiles. Frowning back, the question must be asked, why are you so sad?
Written on the final day of college.
Grey Mar 2021
No words
slip from my tongue.
No words
emerge from my fingertips
as they race across the keyboard.
No words
spill from my mind,
trace the recesses of my brain,
leave my lips with the taste of butterscotch.
I have traveled far and wide,
from one pole to the other
then so far west I'm back in the east,
but I still have no words.
No words
to describe this feeling,
the one at the back of my throat every time I speak,
the one tingling at my fingertips whenever I press them against the keys,
the ones zigzagging my mind from dawn to dusk and even after that.
No words
to describe the tightness of my chest,
whether from the way she tucks her hair behind her ear
or the weight of today on my shoulders.
The thoughts --
I chase them, but they always slip away
just as I can feel them in my grasp.
No words, no thoughts, no way
to finish this poem
not when it's ever-flowing, ever-growing, ever-changing, ever-there.
3/30/2021
Jay M Aug 2020
Mumbling a storm
Tumbling like debris
Trembling like a blade of grass
Barely rooted in the ground
Outside it's rather warm
Maybe 90°
While towards the core
Sitting stubbornly on my ***
It's a hurricane
Trying to tear away
Refusing to stay
Yet lightning strikes the sand
Reminding of a hidden glass shore
Lost in a pool of sand
Are the fragments of the soul.

- Jay M
August 10th, 2020
I don't know what's going on with me, but it's strange and I don't feel right. Guess it's about time I wrote some more, got it all out rather than keep it floating in my head like a message in a bottle.
Grey May 2020
Only the ingenuity of true poets
could describe the indescribable.
5/18/2020
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2020
You are beautiful from endless angles
Even with every flaw
Truth is so easy to see
Scars fill me with awe

I love you the way you look
You are light when skies are grey
Life appears brighter when you are around
Grows sunnier each day

Be the person you are right now
The only one I love
First thought on my morning mind
The face I'm dreaming of

Bound for the heavens
Have no doubt
Stars spell out your four-letter name
Before eyes they steadily burn out
So much blue all seeming the same

Some things are indescribable
Never seen such perfection
Heard beauty depends on who beholds
All hearts have different perception
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Colm Dec 2019
And in asking of self, most honestly, said
“Are you afraid, once you’ve spoken the words, that you’ll truly be free?
That you’ll fall off the earth without purpose or being
Just because you’ve finally shared, what for so long you yourself could not see?“
I am afraid of this?
Perhaps, maybe
You ever feel like you were meant to do something? Edging closer and closer towards creation. And then, the closer you get it the more negative your inner self becomes? I swear, half, or at least two thirds, of my own problems are just me talking to myself.
AmeriMav Jun 2019
It grows more deep than one can count
And never can your wits surmount
True love's overwhelming, so bold, yet soft
as wool, and never cold

Describing it can be hard to tell
Like number's taste, or color's smell
It's sweet and it's crushing, fragrant as red
roses, but more brilliant
Byr a Thoddaid form
Jay M May 2019
Deep inside
The demons she hides
Can't deny them
Compacting my emotions into a gem
Tossing it to the sea
Will I ever be free?

I have love
But it's not enough
I thought it would be
But they won't let me be
It's only dragging me further down
But I don't want to let him down

He's too sweet
Too kind
What a find

Still
I am here
Unchanged
Deranged still
Un-resting
What have I become?

While I sit here
Wondering what has become of me
They try to "get help" for me
But I'm not taking the bait
I'm not going away
I'm not leaving my world behind

So confused
Lost in myself
Afraid of everything
Running blind
In a forest so dark and unknown
So familiar
But I can't see

Just bring me out
Take my hand
I know not why
I can't just deny
This strangeness
Chilling my bones

I love, and I love
But I lose

I love, and I love
But I lose...
I always lose...

- Jay M
May 10th, 2019
I don't know what's happening to me...
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