I am opaque.
Just as a chameleon,
I blend.
But, long for color,
that connects us.
That too is opaque,
gray even.
As clouds,
heavy with rain.
Or fog,
as I reach blindly.

You don’t see me.

I am opaque.
Unworldly in sight,
but warm with blood.
Feverishly pumping,
want and need.
To touch,
that touches nothing.

You don’t feel me.

I am opaque.
Follow, I do the waltz,
seamlessly to impress.
Supporting each step,
as your wings are spread.
Catching the wind to fly,
I fall, knowing my place.

You don’t need me.

I am opaque.
Embrace,
is how I dream.
In reality, separated,
by brick and stone.
Each break mended,
carefully from the other side.
I am tired and sore,
but I pick away.

You don’t want me.

I am opaque.
With a low head, I choose,

to stay this way.
Defeated, the fog rolls in,
thick and vengeful.
I will do what I do best,
blend.

I am opaque.

I don't need you but I want you,
I will survive if you aren't in my life but I don't want to,
I can get by without your jokes and soft kisses but I don't want to,
You will always be the best choice I've ever made even if at the time it didn't seem like it to either of us.
I got afraid at the intense love and affection that you brought as soon as you walked into my life.
You gave everything to me and while I didn't give everything to you, you accepted it because you had most of it. You didn't need all of me and that was okay.
I think you knew one day, soon that I'd eventually give you everything and I'm here now.
Wanting to give you all of me, every fragile flaw and overly sensitive heart and mind.
I want you to have it, please.
I don't need you but I want you.

Im writting to you here becuase I cant in real life,
so here ill say everything I've always wanted to say
and Ill proudly say it with regret and humiliation because I couldn't be
any stronger, and anything bigger to say it to you in person.
ill say that i still think about what we were
and that i only do at 2 am, because 2 am is the time for heartbroken people who need closure and the feeling of infatuation in their life,
ill also say that any other time, I don't think about you because there's nothing to think about,
we had something
but it ended because you decided that having nothing was better than having everything
and you were too scared of having everything
and i was too scared of having nothing .
ill also say that even though i still might love you with every inch and piece of me, i would never want you back
because having you back is like setting my house on fire while im watching from the outside, it would just **** everything inside, but i would be left with nothing.
in the midst of all this saying, i would say how i miss our talks and our jokes, and how it could be anytime of day ill still think about telling you a stupid joke i heard, hoping to hear your laugh once more
to finish off
ill confess how i want to keep you in my life, because with you, even though i still, and always will, have nothing
you gave me
everything.

They meet
They greet
No common hobbies till later
But one common friend they had
No one was sure why they even met?
Not at least the two of them
Soon became friends
Exchanged texts
Later thoughts
Unexpectedly bumped into one another a lot
Maybe it was a sign from the Lord
They were meant to be after all?
Soon shared the same feelings
Became the un-named home for each other
She gave him comfort while he made her smile again
Still they didn’t label their bond as anything exclusive
But inside she knew
Maybe he did too
But neither of them opened up
Until she broke the ice
But too late, because he had taken a step to break her heart
He called her his best friend
She had quite a hint
What was going on
But couldn’t completely move on
Not because she had any grudge
But because she was too broken now
Not by him
But by love she was always destroyed

It never meant anything did it?
Backed off for a while
From him, love and maybe a bit of her life
She got someone too
Never felt the same but maybe cause the feelings were too new
The two of them became friends again
But all in vain
The secrets of the past unfolded
Let some people down
And her ‘someone’ left her alone
But came back in a while
Worked on things
More on feelings
And soon he was pushed completely out of sight
And blamed not by her but by her actions
Amidst all this some bad experiences took place
‘He would have been so caring in such a case’
She thought
A lot
But just kept mum
Accepting the present is right
That’s what she thinks at the time
Love is different this time maybe
Sweet and sour or salty
But deep inside her feelings she couldn’t ****
He still had a place in her heart not completely, but against her will
She gets love
But not the same type
She’s respected
Maybe
Or not
I don’t know
He’s happy she thinks
He was nice
His girl is too
Really caring he was maybe still he do
Pushed me away
Lied and ran
To protect my honor
Not like others who care about their ego more
She kept thinking in her mind’s indoor

Maybe she’ll meet him again someday
When they will both be able to actually meet
But not only to greet
To unite as one
Only if possible
She wishes still
Only if she had taken that step before
Their love could have been eternal
And would have won!

But till that day
He didn’t know her
She didn’t either
They just existed in a parallel universe
Nothing more than known-strangers!

There is no real reason
for alphabetical order
because
every essay,
every book,
every poem and every song
is just the same twenty-six
letters
in a different combination
but I’d re-write the entire
alphabet and
give it a new order
if that is what it takes
to get you to understand, not
‘that it’s “I love you,”’ but
‘it’s you that I love.’