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Khyati Pareek Jun 2019
You
You’re everywhere but here
I see you from far but why not near?
Why are you so distant to my presence?
Did our history, I guess we had one, for you had no essence?
I firmly believe, you don’t miss me at all
Why would you even?
I was the one who pushed you away, I recall.

I stand here far away,
Still trying to catch a glimpse of you
Maybe I’ll be worthy of you?
I don’t know why I got so attached
But you are a drug to me
And your effect I will forever have.

It’s like a maze
The story of our relationship
Neither are we “just friends”
Nor are we “something more”
We are just two ghosts,
Left so sore,
That we don’t even know who we are to each other, anymore.

I crave to see you,
To be around your aura,
Your love was never owned by me,
But some part of mine you’ll always own.

Thinking of the delay,
I always mourn
Or in anger I either groan
Why did I make this fault?
Couldn’t I be honest a little before?

This is my realm of your fantasies,
You’re perfect to me,
However you might be,
You’re flawless and I’m just nobody.

Maybe she did the right thing,
By guiding me to this door,
To exit from your life,
Forever and never return to your shore.

I do not complain about whatever I own,
Instead I just love and adore,
All those who stood and are beside me
Forever and more.

But this love will never die,
‘Cause I have hope,
That one day you’ll realize we deserved something much more,
And that this story of us,
Is far away from over or too early to be a bore.
Khyati Pareek Jan 2019
I do not see you that way
I do not see you that way everyone tells me,
I see you as someone with a pure soul and different from
others completely.

I do not meet you that often,
but this corner in my heart you have left softened,
that you keep coming to my mind
[sometimes if I wish, sometimes out of it]
and sometimes my worries you outshine.

In the past I tried hating you,
for some reason I might still do.
But the part of me which still loves you,
doesn't allow me to do that too.

You're not mine,
but my heart has a piece of you,
you always live in mind,
but I want you around too.

I have never been able to love so much before,
but surprisingly this love developed more,
filling in the void of my empty heart,
you're its forever tenant and for you its doors will
be kept always
ajar!
Khyati Pareek Jan 2019
I get judged
I get eve-teased
I get killed
Outside by burns
Or even inside the womb - as stated by medical terms
I get thrown out
If I’m not fertile
And I get called names
If I have a child
Without getting a wedding-tied

I get beaten
I get blamed
Even if the fault isn’t mine
I get objectified
And told “She wanted it”
But I still come out of it just fine
Even then
I get pained
I get tired
I get hurt
I bleed a lot
Not from only the physical/mental wounds
But each month in my own blood I get drowned

I get locked up
Sliding from the door step rotten food comes
On the floor of dust
I even am given ash and cloth to soak my ‘dirt’
Little do they realise it’s just a part of how we can ‘give birth’

I get humiliated
I get hatred
I also get good things and lot of love instead of blames or non-sensible names
By those who are sane
In places only few
Cause it’s still an idea new
To save a girl and her esteem too.

I get discrimination,
Please, for sake of humanity,
And not a new government policy.
Change this inhuman tradition.
Khyati Pareek Nov 2018
With the summer breeze touch on my neck,
I’ll infer it’s you.
When the winds start to be sharper,
I’ll gladly open my arms to you.

When the snowy snow-***** fall on my face,
Condensing the pores of my skin,
And cooling down, my burning of a heart,
I’ll infer it’s you.

I’ll infer it’s you when a little one walks alone in the rains,
And jumps into the puddles of mud water deliberately,
Holding on to the air for her balance,
And squeaking a silent scream when she’s fearing to fall.
And laughs idiotically over her silliness,
And blushes away from me when she knows I have been watching
Intently, I won’t stop gazing at her,
But my eyes will surely bleed,
If that is possible,
To see her jump, trip and fall and walk,
Still get up and with a smile new.
I’ll infer it’s you.

When she’ll also have petty queries in calculating her sums,
I’ll infer it’s you,
When her childhood opens up and she balances her bicycle,
While pedaling she watches me too,
I’ll be sure and infer it’s you.

When her knees will be sprained
And her elbows would pain
And she would hiss in her ache
I will provide her aid
And take away her ail.
When she’d again get up to rejoice,
And tumble upon the furniture,
Then run away in fear of being caught,
I’ll infer that it’s you.

When she’ll leave behind her dolls to comb her own hair,
When she’ll fall in a struggle everyday on what to wear,
When she’ll tell me I’m not understanding her,
And when her impatience will make me scold her,
She’ll run away to a picture hanging on the wall,
And complain her heart and tears out.

But then she’d come back to me apologizing,
Knowing her wrongs and she’d then be strong.
Her teenage will pass too,
And she’ll be prettier than earlier too,
I’ll infer it’s you.

And then she finally will be set to run away,
With her Prince Charming,
Covered with the bride’s attire when she’ll look divine,
With smile on her lips and the wedding vows,
When she’ll set her foot in her carriage,
She’ll turn to again go,
And run in my arms to slide off the tears,
Of her separation,
And I’d not stop them,
They’d not be in my control,
I’ll shower on her our blessings and love,
And when she’ll smile through her glistening eyes,
And proudly add that I look funny when I cry,
I’ll infer it’s you.
My beloved,
I will know it’s you!
Because you live in her,
A part of us!
She is just like you,
No she’s a reflection of her mother
You.
Khyati Pareek Sep 2018
How does it feel to be alone?
Just like a leaf does when autumn comes,
Just like a little bird does when time comes to fly away,
Just like a heavy cloud to separate from the waters it holds,
Just like a broken heart which had been in love!

How does it feel to fail?
Just like a toddler crawling for first time on his toes,
Just like a young swan flapping its wings but unable to fly ashore,
Just like a hungry beggar not able to earn,
And just like a little school goer unable to score!

How does it feel to be unheard?
Just like the lava of a volcano,
Just like the silence before a storm,
Just like the sound of burning flames,
Just like the ignored beggar on across your home!

How does it feel to be positive though?
Just like the same bird which now has learnt to fly,
Just like the old fellow who now scores high,
Just like the fulfilled man to have received food,
And just like the lil’ toddler who now runs and smiles.

How does it feel to be happy now?
Just like the sight of rebirth of green leaves in spring,
Just like the now-old bird who has found companions to rely,
Just like the drops of fresh rains and a farmer’s joy,
Just like a heartbroken person learns again how to love and enjoy!
Khyati Pareek Aug 2018
A blank page
My heart was
You were my colored brush
Filling in the white spots with the red of our love
But only to wash it away
I always swept water over it
Not intentionally at all
Maybe I am colour blind after all?
Could you not see the dedication I put to dissolve myself in you?
And in your pain?
I don’t know how to define it, but that’s what my love is
When you couldn’t absorb anymore darkness of the colours you were dipped in me
I engulfed you in my deep ripples to absorb your sufferings

So how could you stop this cycle?
Why did you turn away to other waters?
When you know well enough that without you my oceans will dry up
And I won’t survive long enough
Even if I catch my breath my last wish would be you dipped in me
And I truly would attain salvation.

So come back please?
And give brighter shades of happy songs of love
To my gloomy melancholies of heartbreak and loneliness.

I swear I wouldn’t survive long enough
And even if I catch my breath my death desire would want you dipped in me
Only then, I will attain salvation truly!
Khyati Pareek Jun 2018
They meet
They greet
No common hobbies till later
But one common friend they had
No one was sure why they even met?
Not at least the two of them
Soon became friends
Exchanged texts
Later thoughts
Unexpectedly bumped into one another a lot
Maybe it was a sign from the Lord
They were meant to be after all?
Soon shared the same feelings
Became the un-named home for each other
She gave him comfort while he made her smile again
Still they didn’t label their bond as anything exclusive
But inside she knew
Maybe he did too
But neither of them opened up
Until she broke the ice
But too late, because he had taken a step to break her heart
He called her his best friend
She had quite a hint
What was going on
But couldn’t completely move on
Not because she had any grudge
But because she was too broken now
Not by him
But by love she was always destroyed

It never meant anything did it?
Backed off for a while
From him, love and maybe a bit of her life
She got someone too
Never felt the same but maybe cause the feelings were too new
The two of them became friends again
But all in vain
The secrets of the past unfolded
Let some people down
And her ‘someone’ left her alone
But came back in a while
Worked on things
More on feelings
And soon he was pushed completely out of sight
And blamed not by her but by her actions
Amidst all this some bad experiences took place
‘He would have been so caring in such a case’
She thought
A lot
But just kept mum
Accepting the present is right
That’s what she thinks at the time
Love is different this time maybe
Sweet and sour or salty
But deep inside her feelings she couldn’t ****
He still had a place in her heart not completely, but against her will
She gets love
But not the same type
She’s respected
Maybe
Or not
I don’t know
He’s happy she thinks
He was nice
His girl is too
Really caring he was maybe still he do
Pushed me away
Lied and ran
To protect my honor
Not like others who care about their ego more
She kept thinking in her mind’s indoor

Maybe she’ll meet him again someday
When they will both be able to actually meet
But not only to greet
To unite as one
Only if possible
She wishes still
Only if she had taken that step before
Their love could have been eternal
And would have won!

But till that day
He didn’t know her
She didn’t either
They just existed in a parallel universe
Nothing more than known-strangers!
Some thoughts running around my mind at midnight thinking about that unforgettable heartbreak,,,
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