I'll lie here and pretend
You're still in love with me
A quiet charade
That you believe I believe

I'll pretend I'm not ignored
And revel in silence
That I never asked for
Try to win you with compliance

I don't trust my defiance
I don't believe in myself
I can't catch you
Can't win you
Can't cry out for help

I'll act like I'm happy
Fake like I'm not alone
Won't act sappy
Won't change the tone

I'll keep it clean, keep it sweet
Keep fears hidden deep
You won't hear a sound, won't hear a tweet
I won't be the one to speak

I won't push you away or be the one to end it
Cause I'm dying to be near you
I won't write it, won't send it
Because deep down I fear you

I fear you leaving
Fear you running
Fear you cleaving
Fear me being lost
What's the cost
Of speaking out
Against the silence

Amidst the restless nights I walk alone
weaving past the streets of cobblestone

Toting on my mind is a notion overlooked,
I'm a connoisseur of allegory and oftentimes rebuke

"You ignorants! You do not know,
Like an ailment, silence grows

and without haste, it will devour you,
'til the words once chromatic lose its hue"

Yet my forewarning like fine raindrops fell
Resonated not, never even a moment to dwell

as to that exploit perforated an ephipany:
My voice will never be heard, that is ought to be;

and my words will nevermore transpierce thee,
For I am silence and silence is me.

Why am I here?
Laying under blankets,
eyes filled with tears,
everything feels uninteresting.
All I feel is disgusting and sad.
I don't want to bring others down
but when they can see through the mask
they get mad.

*and I end up ignored anyways.

So what exactly did I do?
To have you become so angry at me you just cut me out of your life.
To forget about me completely after I held it down for you.
I'm dopesick and I'm tired of hurting for someone that doesn't give a ****.
I'm lost and I'm sorry but it never even mattered to you.
Do you miss me right now? Cause I miss you.
I miss the sound of your voice and I miss looking at your perfect lips.
I miss just having to kiss them and I miss the way you could make me laugh.
I miss sitting there and just looking over at your perfect face.
Surprised every time at how perfectly gorgeous you truly are.
I miss you kissing my head as you held me close.
I miss knowing I had you as mine.
I miss not hurting, I don't wanna keep checking my phone.
No new texts, no missed calls and just more and more disappointing silence.
No one here with me, nothing to call mine.
Just some pictures of you and I that I took that I wish I had just took today.
Instead I will just sit here and try my hardest to forget what I felt for you.
I'll make myself forget you until I am okay.

I stare at you, every now, and then,
but my feelings for you remained unspoken.
I wish, I could just tell you what I think of you,
Cause if you only knew, and it's okay with you, I'll run to you.

I screenshot every picture of you,
look at my gallery, It's full because of you.
I didn't liked you since we met,
It's just.. like.. one day, when I saw you, It felt like magnet.

Ever since that day,
I'm always following your foot way,
I wanna know, who's with you,
I wanna know what you do,
I just wanna know more about you,
In every way, I can do.

Months, years, Decades, passed,
I still like you, I still love you,
You still like her, You still love her.
It hurts, it hurts, because I know, you won't love me, the way I do.
It hurts, to be bypassed by you.

I loved you for 10 years.
I know it's not your problem anymore.
But please help me,
If there's really no chance, tell me.
Cause I'm tired, I'm tired of getting ignored.
I think I can't do these things anymore.

I need to stop my feelings for you,
It will hurt more, if I'll continue.
Maybe you're not really my forever,
perhaps, you're the epitome of game over.

Deep inside
Somewhere at the bottom of heart,
somewhere in mind
a thought runs,
a feeling remains
There is this thing called love for life,
which ceases to die.

A sense of attachment makes a way for sense of understanding
Responsibilty comes next on the list of priority,
then comes possession,
a feeling that can neither be ignored,
nor can it be denied.

Till now I was part of team,
however, as of now I want to lead the same.

So if you want to be a leader nothing wrong in it,
but always understand responsibility brings along with it a sense of trust that needs to be developed on own,
by one's own experience.

pride
that’s what I’m afraid of
rejection
that too
to put yourself out there
to leave everything up to him
with no control
to possibly be laughed at
ignored
the thought terrifies me
of course it could be worth it all
even more than that
but the steps getting there
well I haven’t decided if the risk
is worth it yet