I was created as fire
You were made of wood
I loved you and to me you were every spark inside of me
You loved me and jumped into the pit I promised to fill with my admiration
But every little word I said ignited and burned you piece by piece
You are kindling for the destruction I can not control
I wish so much I could be water or air
Something that fills you
Something that carries you
But no one can be loved by a fire..
Because I was made to burn everything I loved
And I feel nothing but sadness as I wait for our Phoenix to rise from ashes
Because I want to believe that maybe you'll become fire too or I'll become wood so that neither of us has to get hurt

Three years ago, I experienced a drought
Filled with hatred, anxiety and self-doubt.
From the lush crop of innocence and joy
I became a dead shoot, pillaged and destroyed.
Demons attached to my thick skin, I roam
Not recognizing what used to be home
Tense to the bone, crippled,followed by fear
An amnesiac that forgot what once was dear.
When will they leave- the wraiths who robbed my soul?
Am I to remain this...decrepit ghoul?
Defunct creature that refuses to grow
Unable to apply the things she knows
Who steps forward in time to see square one
Who disdains the very idea of fun
Three years it has been, how long will it be
Before there's some light in this cursed Destiny?

Stand still

I feel myself sinking
And inside I’m thinking
That each movement I’m making
Is pulling me deeper

Stand still

Focus on what you say
Always be sure to convey
Emotional and fervency, there’s no time to waste
Our lives are at stake

Stand still

I can feel every breath
Pulse thumping closer to death
Wondering where we went wrong in the right
And if your lovely eyes will again see the sunlight

Stand still

Capture this moment please
Sinking beyond the knees
Torso receding as I hold close to you
Wondering when the sinking will be through

Stand still

Take the deepest of breaths
I can see you’re scared to death
Hold closer to me as we are swallowed whole
And may God rest our soul

Forever standing
Still

She found me crumpled up on her way out
from a Sunday night shift.

She picked me up.
She opened me up,
and she read me.

She squinted enough to make out
the hard to read parts. Why?

She inspected me inwardly and out
towards my outer edges.
Torn up, filled with makeup fingerprints,
and a few red lipstick stains of
broken promises.

I was cautious to let her read between
the lines, but her stare was enough to see
right through my smudges.

She cracked a smile.
She had her laugh.
She felt the butterflies inside of her.
She contemplated folding me and keeping me.

And I could feel the warmth of her
fingertips, so I unwrinkled, perked up, and
lost some creases.

It was all there. All that I was.
At least what was left of me.
And I was all hers, without the fear and
all of the hope.

She pulled out a pen and wrote,
"You might be the one."

I took in the ink and I believed it.

A light bulb then went off in her head, and
she remembered the letter
she had been hopelessly waiting for
in her mailbox.

The letter she wasn't sure
would ever come.

With a few more make up stains than before,
and a new cigarette burn, she crumpled me
back up and forgot about me in her purse.

- Hey, you missed the trash can.

Who carries enough weight already
Shoulders taught, bowing backs under
The extent that is already carried
Strength born from what was torn asunder

That the burden we all place
From misguided necessity
Would hardly disrupt their pace
Sheltered from all uncertainty

A true hero, to save us from ourselves
To walk their fragile line, keeping us afloat
Lest we drown somehow, in our own murk
Shifting, grounding

Shouting out our names
From somewhere behind us
Furthering our doubt
While always reassuring
Keeping us in place
Granting us our freedom
To ignore what we came from
Picking up our broken remnants

Engorging always
To feed a toxic ego
Reaching out ahead
Affixing our alluring
Goal, so we would miss
How it's come to be
What we would achieve
If given half a chance

I guess we'd be indignant
Should we shoulder burdens
Similar in scope
To struggle with the truth

Internalize the world
How it is, not how we'd like it to be
Or how it's been perceived for us

How can I see a bright side,
When I’m stuck inside my dark mind?
They say that life is beautiful,
But to me they’re all just color-blind,
I used to see it,
Used to see it all the time,
But time changes,
And time left me behind,
Ruminating on my past,
And how I thought it would last,
I relive it now and then,
Wishing I could go back,
But I can’t ever go back,
I’m stuck in the now,
That’s why when they say it,
I ask them how,
How can I cheer up,
When my life is so bleak?
When I feel like I’d be better,
With a bullet in my cheek?
It hasn’t gotten better,
So why should I try,
When the only thing I do,
Is lay in bed and cry?